


Dawn is Coming, Open Your Eyes

by andthensusays



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Famous Harry, Farmer Louis, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, M/M, Smut, farmer au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-01-27 03:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthensusays/pseuds/andthensusays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is an exhausted pop star just looking for a break. Louis is a reluctant farmer with more responsibility than meets the eye. When they find each other, alone doesn't mean lonely anymore.</p><p>It only takes one breakdown, one cottage, one farm, four of the loveliest girls in the world, the loveliest boy in the world, three amazing friends, six months, and 103 cows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know where this came from, but the idea hasn't left me alone for weeks! This will probably be about 5 chapters in length, but maybe even longer. I'll try to update on a weekly basis. Title comes from "Stay Alive" by Jose Gonzalez, hope you enjoy!

Harry arrived at the cottage early in the morning.

He hadn't told many people where he was going; he just told his manager to find him a cottage as isolated as possible and sent off a quick text to his mother telling her he was going on holiday. Once a small cottage was secured, Harry hopped into his car around 4am after a night of tossing and turning and drove, shedding the dirt of London with every passing mile. By the time the sun rose, Harry was well into the countryside. He rolled down his windows, letting the fresh, early-morning June breeze run through his curls. When he inhaled, he couldn't help but notice how the constant tightness in his chest loosened ever so slightly.

The cottage wasn't anything spectacular, but it would suit his needs just fine. It was small, only two bedrooms, but the kitchen was updated and the landlord had promised to have it stocked with food for him. The house came fully furnished, and fit perfectly with Harry's only real requirement, which was to find “a house where no one can find me.”

The first thing Harry did upon arrival was send a quick text to his mother letting her know that he'd arrived safely and that he'd contact her in a couple of days before turning his phone off. It felt slightly liberating, watching the phone shut down until it was nothing but a black screen staring back at him. He spent his life acutely aware of where his phone was at all times, like it was an extra limb, and he couldn't think of the last time he'd been allowed to exist without it. Turning it off felt like a small bit of control, a tiny victory.

He placed the phone in the nearest kitchen drawer, effectively shutting out the rest of the world from his respite. He knew it wouldn't be long until people realized he'd left London, and that people would talk once they realized that he hadn't told anyone where he was going. He wondered if any of his friends would even bother to try and call or text him to see if he was alright.

 _Probably not_ , Harry thought morbidly, slamming the drawer closed more forcefully than he intended. Either way, it didn't really matter—his phone was shut off and shut away for a reason. Outside of his immediate family, Harry genuinely didn't think he knew a single person who didn't stand to benefit from associating with him in some way, be it money or exposure. It was exhausting, and he didn't want to be that person anymore.

He didn't want to be _Harry Styles_. Here, he just wanted to be _invisible_.

The restless night and long drive started to catch up with him as he explored the small house. There wasn't much—a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, and one bathroom, but it was decorated tastefully, if simply, in a way that tried to maximize the space. Looking out the window of the master bedroom, Harry could see a beautiful back garden full of flowers. It was a little wild and untamed, but so full of vibrant colors that it worked.

There was a little village about a ten minute drive down the road, but for the most part Harry was completely isolated. It intimidated and thrilled him at the same time. He wasn't sure he even knew  _how_ to be alone.

Harry had only just laid down to try and get some sleep when he heard a knock on the front door. Groaning, he threw his arm over his face, hoping whoever it was would just go away. When there was another knock, he sighed and trudged towards the front door, opening it to reveal a young girl holding a bag full of food.

“Hello!” the girl said brightly.

“Um, Hi,” Harry responded, quirking his eyebrows in amusement.

“I've brought you food!” She exclaimed, pushing past him and walking straight into the kitchen.

“Um,” Harry tried again, because she couldn't be more than seven or eight and he had no idea what on earth she was doing at his door with a bag of food.

“Daisy Tomlinson!” another voice reprimanded, and Harry looked up to see a man walking up his front drive. Harry heard the girl freeze in the kitchen and sigh before walking back out the front door.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Were you invited in or did you just barge into this poor lad's house like you owned the place?” the man teased, and as he got closer Harry's breath caught in his throat. He was _beautiful_ , slim and muscular with piercing blue eyes and the most exquisite cheekbones that he'd seen outside of menswear adverts. He also appeared to be much younger than Harry had originally thought, probably around his age if not a little older.

“Louis,” the girl, Daisy, sighed patiently. “We _do_ own the place.”

“Cheeky!” the man, apparently named Louis, laughed. “Technically that might be true but when someone is renting it, it becomes their house, right? How would you feel if some strange person just walked into your house, hmm?” He finally reached the door and placed a hand comfortingly on Daisy's shoulder. “What do you say?”

“Sorry,” Daisy said to Harry, although her grin belied that she was anything but.

“Quite alright,” Harry said with a small smile. “You brought me food, apparently, so I certainly couldn't turn you away, now could I?”

Daisy just grinned and ran back into the kitchen to continue putting away the food.

“I'm so sorry about this,” Louis said. “We'll only be a minute. We weren't expecting you until this afternoon and I hadn't had a chance to deliver food yet.”

“Oh, it's fine,” Harry said. “It's my fault, I wasn't supposed to get in until much later but I couldn't sleep so I decided to come early. I hope that's alright?” Harry asked, eyebrows knotted in concern.

“Not a problem,” Louis insisted kindly. “I'm Louis Tomlinson, your landlord, and you've already met my little sister Daisy.”

“Nice to meet you,” Harry said politely. “I'm Harry...” Harry trailed off, wanting to be _anyone_ other than Harry Styles. “Harry Edwards,” Harry completed, attempting to win over Louis with his best, most charming smile to distract from his momentary confusion over his own name. Louis, for his part, seemed rather unconcerned.

“Well, we're glad to have you, Harry Edwards,” Louis said with a genuine smile. “We're only about a five minute walk down the road if you need anything while you're here, and I'll leave my number on the counter for you just in case. What brings you to our humble little village?”

“Just...wanted to get away, I suppose,” Harry said evasively.

“All finished!” Daisy exclaimed, galloping back towards her brother.

“Everything's put away?” Louis double checked and Daisy nodded her head. “Good job!” Louis praised, rewarding her with a bright smile and a high five. “Well, we'll be getting out of your hair now,” Louis said to Harry. “It was nice to meet you.”

“Er, thanks,” Harry said awkwardly. “You too. I'll see you around.”

Louis just smiled at him and put his hand on Daisy's shoulder, guiding her through the door. He paused on the threshold, turning back around and settling a calculating look on Harry.

“We have a family dinner every night,” Louis said. “My sisters and I. You're always welcome to join us, if you're ever interested. It's nothing fancy, but we're good company when we try to be,” he teased with a grin.

“Thank you,” Harry said again, this time more sincerely.

With a small smile and a tiny wave, Louis was off. Harry watched them walk down the drive, Daisy throwing her head back in laughter at something Louis said, and Harry envied her. To be so young and carefree were things that he barely even remembered himself. Watching Daisy, the small, giggling child that she was, it was clear to him that hers was a life of joy. She had never known pain, or suffering, or tragedy. For her, the world was still full of excitement, and promise. Oh yes, he envied her.

Not wanting to dwell too much on what kind of sad person it made him to envy the life of an eight year old, he let his thoughts wander to her older brother. Louis was...an enigma. Harry couldn't quite understand how someone that beautiful ended up in such a small little village, renting out a cottage to strangers. He couldn't be that old, he looked to be in his early twenties, but he seemed perfectly content to be exactly where he was. Harry didn't think he even knew a single human being in their twenties who didn't move to London for the sole purpose of getting away from their boring, provincial lives. It made no sense, but it didn't seem like Louis was interested in running from his life—it seemed like he had embraced it.

Harry couldn't imagine not wanting to run away. From his old life, from his new life, from  _his_ life. And that was the thought that did him in, too heavy to process, too large to bear. He went straight into the bedroom and was asleep within minutes, dreams unsettled, haunted by a pair of blue eyes.

When he finally woke up and got back out of bed, it was almost two full days later. The sun was streaming in through the bedroom window, highlighting the particles of dust floating around the room, indicating to Harry how often the cottage was actually rented out. When he stood up and looked in the mirror, he was surprised to find that his eyes didn't look quite so dead. He looked almost well-rested, which was a massive improvement to how he had been looking, at least.

His stomach growled, and he wandered into the kitchen to rummage through the food that Louis and Daisy left. Grabbing a banana, he wandered into the garden, taking a moment to appreciate the feel of the sun on his skin. He lay down in the grass, closing his eyes and letting himself just exist without purpose or expectation. It was a little silly and self-indulgent, but it helped, and by the time he had finished his banana, he felt a little bit lighter.

He could hear laughter coming up the road, and sat up, straining to see who was coming. It was Daisy, of course, skipping down the road with a tin in her hands, turning up the drive and running when she spotted him.

“Hello, Daisy,” Harry said pleasantly.

“I’m not Daisy,” she laughed.

“Oh no?” Harry chuckled. “Who are you today, then?”

“I’m Phoebe,” the girl insisted. “Why are you sitting in the grass?”

“Why are you Phoebe?” Harry countered.

“I’ve always been Phoebe,” She giggled, before sticking the tin out for Harry to take. “Louis told me to bring this to you.”

“He did? What is it?”

“Cookies!” DaisyPhoebe exclaimed. “My sisters and I made them.”

“Oh, thank you,” Harry said sincerely, both surprised and touched by the gesture.

“Louis said you looked like you could use some cookies,” DaisyPhoebe stage-whispered, making Harry let out a genuine laugh.

“He’s right, I could,” Harry chuckled. “Tell him thank you for me?”

“I will!” DaisyPhoebe said brightly.

Looking around and realizing that the girl was evidently alone, Harry asked, “did you walk here by yourself?”

“Yup,” DaisyPhoebe confirmed.

“How old are you?”

“Eight,” DaisyPhoebe said, fixing him with the same calculating eyes that Louis wore only days before. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-one,” Harry laughed. “And did your brother tell his eight year old sister run to strangers houses alone?”

“Eight is old enough to walk around alone,” DaisyPhoebe said precociously. “And my sister Lottie came with me, but she saw a boy and I didn't want to wait while she flirted.”

Harry barked out a laugh, finding his heart softening a bit for the endlessly entertaining girl.

“How about I walk you home, then?” Harry offered. “I think your brother would be cross with me if I let you walk home alone.”

“You’re probably right,” DaisyPhoebe snorted. “He worries too much.”

“I’m sure it’s because he loves you,” Harry said kindly. DaisyPhoebe got a weird look on her face before looking at her shoes. When she looked back up at him, her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Let’s go then,” DaisyPhoebe said.

Harry just nodded and stood up, letting the girl lead the way.

“You’re very tall,” DaisyPhoebe observed.

“You’re very short,” Harry countered with a grin.

“I know,” DaisyPhoebe sighed. “Louis says I’ll grow, but I don’t believe him.”

“I think you have a very good chance of growing,” Harry laughed. “You won’t be that size forever.”

“The doctor says I have to drink more milk,” she confided.

“Milk does help you grow big and strong,” Harry agreed.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before DaisyPhoebe asked, “do you have any sisters?”

“I do,” Harry confirmed with a smile. “One sister, her name is Gemma and she’s 24.”

“That’s almost how old Louis is!” she exclaimed. “He's 25. Do you have any brothers?”

“No, it’s just me and my sister,” Harry answered.

“I have three sisters and one brother,” DaisyPhoebe said proudly. “I think it’s good to have at least one of each.”

“I’m sure I would have liked having a brother,” Harry agreed. “But I love my sister quite a lot.”

“I love my sisters, but I really really love my brother,” DaisyPhoebe said, finding a rock and kicking it hard, watching as it skipped and tumbled down the road.

“Your brother is your favorite, huh?”

“Yes,” DaisyPhoebe agreed happily.

“Why is that?” Harry asked curiously.

“We would have been taken away without him,” she answered cryptically, skipping to punctuate her next words. “He’s the very best, of the very best, of the very best of brothers.”

Harry’s eyebrows kitted together in confusion. Taken away?

“We’re here!” DaisyPhoebe exclaimed, turning down a long drive that lead to a farmhouse. “Thank you, Harry!” she exclaimed, waving as she turned to run towards the house.

“Bye, Daisy!” Harry called after her.

She looked over her shoulder, shouting “Phoebe!” before turning and running the rest of the way to the house. Harry watched her disappear inside before he turned back around and walked the short journey home.

It was another four days before Harry left the cottage again. He had slept even more, marathoned some television shows on his laptop, and finally showered before the quiet of the cottage went from a blessing to a curse.

Harry wasn't used to silence, was the thing. He was someone who was constantly surrounded by people, intentionally or not, and the more time he spent alone the more he realized how very little he knew about  _how_ to be alone.

Harry's first thought was that he should call his mum, but the prospect of turning his phone back on just seemed too daunting, and he decided that it was best left in the kitchen drawer, which is how he found himself wandering down the road towards Louis' house. He carried the tin that had previously been full of cookies in his left hand, shoving his right hand in the pocket of his jeans as he walked. As he approached the farm, he realized that it was almost dinner time, and briefly questioned whether or not to turn back as he didn't want to interrupt the family, but ultimately his curiosity won out.

When Harry knocked on the front door, he could hear a stampede of feet from the other side, a cacophony of female voices shouting “I'll get it!” before the door was ripped open and he was met with a girl he didn't recognize. She was older than Daisy, probably around twelve or so, but the family resemblance was clear.

“Er, hi, I'm um renting the cottage down the road?” Harry started, words coming out more like a question than a sentence. “I came to return this,” Harry said, holding up the tin to show her.

“Sure,” the girl said, giving him a small smile before opening the door completely and ushering him inside. “I'm Fizzy,” she introduced herself.

“Harry,” he replied. “Thank you so much for the cookies, by the way, they were delicious.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Fizzy said, waving him off. “It was Louis' idea, and the girls love to bake.”

Before Harry could respond, he could hear Louis shouting from the kitchen.

“Who was at the door, Fizz?”

“It's Harry!” Fizzy shouted back, before nodding towards the kitchen. “Come on then, he'll want to say hello.”

“Look who I found,” Fizzy said, walking into the kitchen with Harry trailing behind. Louis was standing at the stove over a pot of boiling water, and another girl he hadn't yet met was setting the table. When the girl looked up as Harry walked into the room, she gasped and dropped the plate she was holding. It shattered as it hit the floor, causing Louis to spin around in concern.

“You're—” the girl whispered, but was immediately cut off by Louis, a bright smile spreading across his face once he saw Harry.

“Harry!” Louis exclaimed. “Finally got out of the house, then, I see? Lottie, this is Harry Edwards, our new tenant. Harry, this is my sister Lottie.”

“It's nice to meet you,” Harry said politely, inwardly cringing as he wondered whether or not she'd out him right then and there. Luckily for him, she appeared to also have the Tomlinson eyes, as she narrowed them at him before nodding her head slowly and giving him a small smile.

“You too,” she said, seeming to come back into herself as she looked down at the broken plate at her feet. “Sorry, I'm a disaster sometimes,” she apologized.

“Try 99% of the time,” Louis teased, “here, come watch this and I'll clean that up.”

Lottie switched places with her brother, and Louis knelt down to collect the broken shards of the plate before looking up at Harry from his position on the floor. Harry's stomach seemed to jump into his throat at the sight of Louis knelt on the floor, blue eyes glancing up at him through his messy hair, the angle accentuating his sharp cheekbones, and Harry had to wonder yet again how a boy like that ended up in a place like this.

“Never a dull moment in this house,” Louis joked, although he didn't sound too upset about the accident.

Before Harry could respond, DaisyPhoebe walked into the kitchen, face lighting up when she saw Harry.

“Hi Harry!” she exclaimed happily.

“Hello,” Harry said, returning her smile with a matching one of his own. “And what is your name today?” Harry asked. Daisy looked at him strangely, before a grin spread slowly across her face.

“Daisy,” she replied.

“I hope you'll stay for dinner,” Louis said, throwing the shards of plate in the trash. “We're having pasta. Nothing fancy, but we have more than enough, if you're interested?”

Harry meant to decline. He meant to say 'no thank you, I've just come to ask if I could use your phone'. Lottie clearly recognized him, and he figured the less time he spent around them the better. She looked to be about fourteen or so, and he was willing to bet she wouldn't be able to keep his presence a secret for long.

“I'd love to, thank you,” was what came out of his mouth instead, surprising no one more than himself.

“Wonderful!” Louis exclaimed, looking genuinely pleased that Harry accepted. “Fiz, will you set another place at the table please? And Daisy, go get your sister, tell her we're almost ready to eat.'

The two girls did as asked, and it was only when Harry counted the places at the table that he realized what had been staring him in the face all along. There were five places at the table before a sixth was added for him. Louis wasn't just their brother...he was raising them.

Harry looked up at Louis, mouth dropped open in shock. He was  _twenty-five years old_ and raising  _four girls._ Did he have help? Was he truly all alone? What happened to their parents? Harry's head was absolutely swimming with questions, but before he had a chance to get his head together, Daisy walked back into the kitchen.

“Hi, Harry!” she said brightly.

“Hi,” Harry murmured absentmindedly, doing a double-take when he noticed that she'd changed her clothes.

“What's for dinner?” Daisy asked, walking into the kitchen.

Wait,  _what?_

Harry's eyes darted back and forth between the two Daisys. No, not two Daisys, one Daisy and one Phoebe.

“Twins!” Harry exclaimed accusingly.

“Fooled you!” Phoebe exclaimed with a gleeful giggle, jumping and clapping her hands.

Suddenly, it all made so much sense. Phoebe knew, she  _knew_ that he had no idea they were twins, and she let him go on believing that she was Daisy just playing some imaginary game. It was quite clever, and diabolical really, and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

“Oh, Phoebe, you didn't!” Louis scolded, sounding not one bit angry, the sparkle in his eyes giving him completely away.

Harry tried to answer, but found that once he started laughing,  _really_ laughing, he couldn't quite stop. It felt like it had been ages since the last time he laughed out of nothing other than pure good-nature, and not because he was expected to, or it was polite, or to just simply keep from crying.

“ _Brilliant_ ,” Harry said once he had calmed down, reaching out for Phoebe and Daisy to each give him a high five. “I had _no_ idea!”

“They're going to take over the world one day,” Louis said seriously.

“I believe it,” Harry giggled.

Dinner was a raucous affair, four screaming girls all trying to be heard over one another as they talked about everything they did that day. Lottie had gone into town with friends, Fizzy had learned three new guitar chords, and Daisy and Phoebe spent time down by the pond on their property with some ducks.

“And what did you do today, Harry?” Louis asked, raising a challenging eyebrow.

“Nothing involving ducks, unfortunately,” Harry laughed, then shrugged. “Nothing exciting, either, I'm afraid. Watched some movies, and slept quite a bit.”

“I disagree, I think that sounds like the _perfect_ day,” Louis said. “Where are you from?”

“Cheshire, originally,” Harry answered. “Holmes Chapel. But I've been living in London since I was about sixteen.”

“Nice,” Louis remarked conversationally. “I lived in London for a bit a couple of years ago. Loved it.”

“It's a great city,” Harry agreed with a smile. He really _did_ love London. He loved the culture of it—the promise, the hope, the madness of it.

“So why come here?” Lottie snorted teasingly.

“I—“ Harry trailed off, brow furrowing, suddenly becoming unsure of how to answer truthfully without giving himself away. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess?”

“Regretting it already?” Louis laughed, seemingly delighted by Harry's flummoxed answer.

“No,” Harry insisted with a smile. “I'm really enjoying the break, actually. I needed time away for a bit. Things were...difficult, back home. Complicated. This is nice.”

“How long will you be staying?” Louis asked.

Harry just shrugged and gave a sheepish smile.

“Well, the cottage is yours for as long as you need it,” Louis said sincerely, blue eyes softening as he looked at Harry. Harry looked at the floor to try and hide his grin.

It was nice, eating dinner with their family. They were loud, and silly, and completely without airs. They didn't want anything from him, other than his company, which he was increasingly happy to provide. Even Lottie, after the initial broken plate, had warmed up to him and treated him completely normally.

It was  _nice_ , feeling normal. It really, really was.

It was only once dinner was over and they were all washing dishes in the kitchen that Harry remembered his initial purpose for visiting.

“Do you have a phone I could use?” Harry asked Louis. “Mine's broken, and if I don't check in with my mum every few days she might actually send a search party for me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis said, reaching a wet hand into the pocket of his jeans and tossing his iPhone at Harry.

Harry caught it with wide eyes. He was the kind of person who guarded his phone with his life. If his phone got into the wrong hands, it could ruin him. And here he was, being handed a phone so simply and trustingly, as if Louis had nothing to hide. It was a stark contrast to his own reality.

“Thanks,” Harry said. “I'll just be a minute.”

He walked into the living room for a bit of privacy and dialed his mother's familiar number. She picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hi, Mum,” Harry said softly, lips curving into a small smile at the sound of his mother's voice.

“Hello, stranger!” Anne exclaimed. “Did you get a new phone? I didn't recognize the number.”

“No, it's um, my landlord's phone. He let me borrow it. I turned mine off, and I just...don't really feel like turning it back on yet.” P _ossibly ever._

“Oh, sweetheart,” Anne said sympathetically.

“It's fine,” Harry dismissed. “I'll be fine.”

“I know you will,” Anne said softly. “How are things? Have you been getting some rest?”

“They're good. And yeah, it's kind of all I've been doing,” Harry laughed. “I feel like maybe in another week I'll finally have caught up on sleep.”

“Just do whatever you need to do, okay?” Anne said wisely. “The next time I see you, I want you to be healthy.”

“I'm getting there,” Harry said, and realized as he said it that he really believed it.

“I'm glad to hear it, darling.”

“How are you?” Harry asked.

“Oh, things are same as always here,” Anne said breezily. “Robin and I did a bit of gardening today, so he's already snoring on the couch.”

“Lazy,” Harry teased with a giggle.

“I heard from Gemma yesterday, too,” Anne said. “She sends her love, and says to call her when you get a chance.”

“I will,” Harry promised. “Alright, I won't keep you, but I just wanted to say hi and check in, let you know I'm still alive.”

“Always appreciated,” Anne laughed. “It was lovely to hear from you, darling. Call me again in a few days?”

“Sure,” Harry said easily. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” Anne said fondly before the call ended.

When Harry walked back into the kitchen, Lottie was the only one left, drying dishes at the sink with a dishtowel. Lottie looked up when he walked in and gave a wry smile.

“Don't worry, I won't break anymore plates,” she teased. Harry let out a genuine laugh, grabbing a second towel and helping her dry the pile of dishes in the sink.

“You know who I am,” Harry said point-blank, figuring it was best to just get it out of the way.

“I...have my suspicions,” Lottie said vaguely.

That's a yes, Harry figured.

“You didn't say anything. Why?” Harry asked, genuinely curious as to why she wouldn't out him. Lottie just shrugged and grabbed another dish.

“You looked terrified, when you saw that I recognized you,” Lottie said. “I guess I figured that if you wanted people to know, you'd tell them, and if you were pretending to be someone else, then you probably have a good reason.”

“I don't know if it's a _good_ reason, but there are reasons,” Harry said with a small chuckle, before looking at her seriously. “Please don't tell anyone I'm here. Almost no one knows I'm here, and I just...really need the break.”

“I won't”, Lottie promised, and Harry found himself surprisingly believing her. At this point, he really had no other choice _but_ to believe her.

“Thank you,” Harry said sincerely.

“It's not my secret to tell,” Lottie said with a small shrug. “Besides, we all have secrets, right? Things we wish people didn't know about us.”

She sounded like she knew more about that feeling than a girl her age should. Harry just blinked at her, watching as she scrubbed a plate dry more forcefully than necessary.

“How old are you?” Harry asked softly.

“Fourteen,” she stated, glancing at him as if challenging him to make a comment about how young she was. Harry had a feeling that he had a lot to learn about this family.

Lottie sighed and put the plate away in the cupboard, crossing her arms and turning towards Harry.

“Our parents died two years ago. That's why Louis takes care of us,” Lottie said. Harry just gaped at her, making her scoff and continue, “Oh stop looking at me like that, I know you were wondering. Everyone always wonders. We're 'those poor Tomlinson children', I'm surprised no one in town warned you about us.”

“Haven't been into town yet,” Harry said numbly.

“Well, that makes sense, I suppose.”

“I'm—” Harry started.

“So sorry, I know,” Lottie said, waving him off. “Believe me, there's nothing you could say that we haven't all heard about a million times before.”

Harry supposed that was probably true, but he still felt terrible, still felt like he should say  _something_ , but he couldn't find the words.

“It's fine,” Lottie insisted, before letting out a hollow laugh. “I mean, it's not _fine_ , but. Louis is great, at least. He left literally everything to move back here. And I like, kind of love him. Sometimes.”

“Spoken like a true sister,” Harry said with a tight smile, language slowly coming back to him.

“I guess we're even now, then?” Lottie questioned. “I know your secret, and you know mine.”

Harry's heart dropped as he realized that his reluctance and mistrust had literally driven this poor girl to tell him one of her most painful secrets.

“I like, don't trust people easily?” Harry said, realizing it came out as more of a question than a statement. “It's something I'm working on, but I don't want to be the kind of person who always operates under some kind of exchange system. You're right, I was wondering, but I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me your secrets just because you know mine. They're yours.”

“I'll keep that in mind the next time I figure something out about you,” Lottie teased, and Harry laughed, opening his arms and wrapping her in a hug.

“Thank you,” Harry said again, this time slightly more unsure of what he was really thanking her for. For a multitude of things, really.

Lottie pulled away with a smile, rolling her eyes and laughing at herself as she said, “Sorry, it's just that I'm hugging Harry Styles in my kitchen. It's too bizarre.”

Harry laughed genuinely, giving her a dimpled smile.

“Where did your brother go? I want to give him back his phone,” Harry asked.

“He's in the barn,” Lottie said, gesturing to the back door. “You can go find him.”

The barn that Lottie was talking about was actually a rather large structure, lined with mostly empty stalls save for a a couple of horses and a few cows. He found Louis exiting one of the horse's stalls, giving the horse a small pat on the nose as he was leaving.

“Hi,” Harry said.

“Hi,” Louis responded, turning around and fixing him with a bright smile.

“Thanks for letting me use this,” Harry said, handing Louis back his phone. Louis' hand brushed his as he took it, and Harry was surprised at how soft his fingers were.

“Anytime.”

“I thought there'd be more cows on a dairy farm,” Harry remarked, looking around at the few animals in the barn.

“They don't usually come inside in the summer except for milking. Not used to seeing many farms in London?” Louis teased.

“Not used to seeing any farms, is more like it,” Harry laughed. “Not since I was a kid, at least.”

“I know what you mean, it was a bit of an adjustment moving back here meself,” Louis said with a wry smile. “Not exacty a dream job, is it?”

“For some, maybe,” Harry said with a shrug.

“My dad loved this farm,” Louis said. “This was his dream.”

“I—I was talking to Lottie,” Harry started awkwardly. “I'm really very sorry about your parents.”

“Thanks,” Louis said, clearly an automatic reaction to a phrase he must have heard a million times before.

“I think it was quite brave of you to move back here,” Harry said honestly.

“Brave?” Louis asked, looking at Harry with surprise. “No one's ever put it like that before. Brave? Maybe,” Louis conceded. “It was never a question of whether or not I would take them, that's—that was obvious. It was just whether or not I'd move back here or bring them to London to live with me. The more practical choice was this. I loved London, but I couldn't afford to raise four girls there. I could barely afford my tiny little flat that I shared with two mates. And when I really thought about it, I didn't want to disrupt their lives even more, you know? So I moved back. And it's not so bad. It's a job at least, right?”

Harry didn't really know what to say to that, so instead he just said “your sisters really love you.”

Louis' smile beamed as he looked at the ground, trying to contain his grin before looking back up at Harry.

“They're basically my world,” Louis said honestly, before sobering for a minute. “It's not— I'm terrified every day that I'm fucking it all up and they'll wind up needing intensive therapy for the rest of their lives or something, but I do love them. More than anything. This whole _parenting_ thing I'm learning, sometimes poorly, but I figure if I can just love them enough then maybe everything else will just work itself out.”

“I'm clearly no parenting expert, but it seems to me like you're doing a really great job,” Harry said sincerely, before cracking a smile. “Minimal therapy required, at least.”

“Hah!” Louis laughed, clouds slowly lifting from his face. “One can only hope. What about you, what do you do? I'm assuming something more interesting than farming, at least.”

Harry laughed softly before shaking his head with a small sigh.

“I don't even know anymore,” Harry said quietly, and he thought that it might have just been one of the most honest things he'd said in months. “I guess that's part of why I came up here, really. To try and figure things out. My job is not...well, it's a little intense and not really what I expected. And lonely.”

Louis regarded him for a moment, blue eyes squinting as the gears in his mind turned and Harry held his breath just waiting for the probing questions that never came. Instead, Louis just nodded and made a soft sound of agreement.

“One good thing about farming, you're never lonely. Not with all these cows around,” he teased. Harry's smile dimpled as he grinned back at this relative stranger who somehow managed to get Harry to want to learn all of his secrets, and whisper all of his in return. Louis was unlike anyone Harry had ever met before.

“Cows do make the best companions,” Harry deadpanned in agreement.

“So patient and nonjudgmental,” Louis agreed seriously.

“Noble creatures,” Harry affirmed.

Louis broke first, mouth twitching into a smile, eyes crinkling at the sides as he snorted out a laugh, making Harry grin back, smile growing wider and wider until all of his teeth were on display. When Harry's grin eventually slipped off of his face, he felt lighter. Happy.

He wasn't totally happy, not really, but he was so much closer to it than he had been in quite some time. And that meant everything to him.

Louis just kept smiling at him, the light from the setting sun playing off of the angular features of his face. His eyes were soft and glowing, and Harry was struck by just how  _beautiful_ this boy was. Even in tattered old coveralls and worn boots, he was so fucking  _beautiful_ .

Coming back into himself, Harry realized how dark it had gotten outside, and his heart sunk a bit, knowing that he should go before he overstayed his welcome.

“I should get home soon,” Harry said apologetically. “Thank you so much, though. For dinner and, well, everything.”

“Any time,” Louis said, and Harry believed him. It was an invitation borne from sincerity, and Harry couldn't imagine not taking him up on it.

“So,” Harry started slowly, taking a minute to get his thoughts together. “Do you, like, need any help? On the farm?”

“Can always use an extra pair of hands,” Louis said easily. “Why, you offering?”

“I think it will be good for me to do something, you know? The quiet is nice, and I definitely need that, but I think I also just need to feel useful, too,” Harry explained frankly.

“I have plenty of uses for you,” Louis said, so straight-faced and deadpan that Harry couldn't tell if he was flirting or not. Harry decided to just go with it anyway.

“I have very talented hands,” Harry said suggestively, waggling his eyebrows, making Louis burst into happy laughter.

“You, Harry Edwards, are a complete menace,” Louis said jovially. “Off with you now, unless you fancy walking home in the dark?”

“A gentleman would offer me a ride,” Harry insisted.

“I can give you a ride,” Louis leered, this time making Harry dissolve in giggles.

“Touché,” Harry laughed happily, before moving to leave. “What time should I come over tomorrow?”

“Whenever you want,” Louis shrugged. “It's your vacation you're getting ready to ruin with manual labor. I won't make you wake up at dawn as well,” he teased.

“You wake up at dawn?” Harry asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Not usually,” Louis teased, an easy smile settling over his face.

“Idiot,” Harry mumbled fondly. “I'll be over sometime in the morning, then.”

“Do you need any help getting home?” Louis asked.

“M'fine,” Harry insisted. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

With one last smile and a wave, Harry made his way out of the barn and back out onto the road. On his way home, Harry couldn't help but reflect on the insane evening he'd just had. Being around Louis and his sisters made Harry feel like a person, a  _real person_ , and it was such a wonderful feeling that Harry wanted to just bask in it for a little while. He wasn't sure if he should be worried, or concerned, or just plain happy about it, but all he wanted to do was spend more time with them.

Picking up his pace and walking a little faster, Harry decided that he didn't care. He was going to do what he wanted to do, damn the consequences. If spending time with Louis made Harry feel more like  _Harry_   than he had in years, then how could that be a bad thing? A nagging little voice in the back of his head reminded him that Louis didn't know who he was, not really, because Harry had  _lied_   to him about it, but Harry pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

Given the way his life usually went, he'd probably be gone in another week, anyway.

 

 


	2. Two.

As it turned out, Harry was not, in fact, gone in a week. In actuality, the more time went by, the more ingrained Harry found himself in life in the little village. He had kept his promise, helping out at Louis' farm every single day for almost a month, and found it to be some of the most rewarding work he'd ever done. It was hard, and messy, and he was certain that he would never look at milk quite the same way again, but he found that he would go to sleep every night looking forward to when he'd be able to see Louis again the following morning.

Louis was... _ amazing _ . He was kind, and patient, and hysterically funny, and most importantly he was content to simply let Harry be whoever he needed to be. He would ask Harry questions occasionally, but would never press the issue if Harry tried to avoid a topic. As a result, Harry found himself opening up to Louis in a way that he'd never opened up to anyone before. Louis was someone he could talk to,  _ really _ talk to, and he was never afraid of judgment or shame from the older boy.

For as much as he was getting from his friendship with Louis, he only hoped that the older boy found  _ something _ worthy in Harry, some reason to keep him around. He'd never really had anyone interested in him for anything other than fame or money, and Harry found himself inexplicably nervous around Louis sometimes. Harry usually knew what people wanted from him; he usually knew how to anticipate their next move. But, with Louis, he didn't seem to want  _ anything _ from Harry, and Harry wasn't sure what to do with that information. Objectively, he knew that his interactions with Louis and his family were  _ good, normal, healthy  _ interactions, but the more time he spent with them the more he realized that he had absolutely no idea how to interact with other people on a normal basis.

That scared him.

What scared him even more was how badly he wanted to tell Louis who he really was. He was no longer afraid that word would get out that he was in town—Lottie had kept her promise and kept her mouth shut, and Louis was certainly not the kind of person who would sell Harry out for money, but rather the problem lay in how long Harry had been flat out lying to Louis. He'd been in town for a little over a month, and had become quite close with Louis during that time...and had done it all under a false identity. He was terrified that if he told Louis  _ now,  _ so after the fact, that Louis would feel like his trust had been betrayed and would want nothing to do with Harry anymore. And it might be selfish of him, but he wasn't ready to give up Louis and his family yet.

But, the more he lied, the heavier the weight of guilt felt pressing down on his chest. He wanted  _ so badly _ to be accepted by Louis, wanted to tell him  _ everything _ , but he was absolutely and completely terrified of rejection. Or worse, of being  _ used _ .

The decision was made for him one evening as they were washing up from dinner.

“I go into town every once in awhile and meet up with some mates for a drink. I'm supposed to go tonight, if you'd like to come?” Louis asked.

“Um,” Harry stumbled, mind blanking as to a reason why he would need to decline.

“I thought it might do you some good,” Louis explained. “I know I'm amazing company, but maybe it's about time you rejoined the world of the living?”

“I don't think that's a good idea,” Harry said, breath coming in short puffs as he desperately tried to come up with an answer, _any_ answer that didn't end with 'because I'm super famous'.

“Give me one good reason why not,” Louis challenged.

“It's kind of a secret I'm here?” Harry said timidly, putting down the glass he was washing with shaky hands.

“I think your secret is pretty safe here,” Louis laughed. “The village has like twenty people in it, and I don't think any of them are going to run back to London and tell on you.”

“No, it's...” Harry trailed off and sighed, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the truth. “I'm not...exactly...who you think I am.”

“Is this the part where you tell me you've got a closet full of bodies back in London or something?” Louis joked, trying to ease the tension in the room.

“No,” Harry said, giggling despite himself. “I like, sing sometimes, I guess? You know, professionally. And if someone recognizes me and tells the press, it kind of defeats the purpose of coming on a secret vacation,” Harry said, stumbling through his explanation as awkwardly as he felt, closing his eyes in embarrassment. Louis sighed and put the dish towel he was holding down on the counter, turning towards Harry and reaching out a tentative hand, squeezing his arm comfortingly.

“You think too much, you know that Harry Styles?” Louis said gently. Harry's head snapped up and his eyes widened, locking with Louis'.

“You knew?!” Harry gasped, not sure if he felt relieved or betrayed.

“Not at first,” Louis admitted. “Lottie dropping her plate was my first clue, she's not usually that clumsy, but it wasn't until later when I noticed that she'd taken down some posters in her room that it finally clicked. You'd been on her wall for years, and all of a sudden she was throwing away a bunch of posters, saying she'd grown out of her Harry Styles phase and I realized that's why you looked familiar.”

“You never said anything...even though I've been lying to you all this time,” Harry said, staring at Louis in pure wonder.

“Yeah, but you weren't really lying, were you?” Louis asked with a small shrug of his shoulders. “Not about what matters, anyway. What you do is such a small part of who you are.”

Wow. That...that went completely against everything that Harry had learned in the past few years. What he did  _ made _ him who he was, and the fact that Louis could see something else, see underneath all of the bullshit and the lies, was...it was  _ everything _ .

“It kind of felt like everything until recently,” Harry confessed.

“Hazza,” Louis sighed, looking at Harry with a mixture of complicated expressions. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. The way the girls see you.”

“And how is that?” Harry asked, surprised he even had the nerve to voice the question, terrified of what the answer might be.

“If you strip yourself of your voice, and your fancy clothes, and your curls, and your dimples...” Louis said, trailing off. “If you take away everything that earns you magazine covers and endorsement deals, do you know what you are?”

Harry just stared at Louis, body trembling, heart pounding, blood rushing to his ears as he felt completely unprepared to hear the answer.

_ Nothing _ , he knew. Without all of that, he was absolutely nothing.

“Lovely,” is what came out of Louis' mouth instead.

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but to his complete horror, he let out a loud sob instead, body crumpling in on itself as his eyes filled with tears.

“ _Haz_ ,” Louis whispered softly, catching the younger boy in his arms, murmuring soothing words into his hair. And Harry just _let_ him. He let himself be held, and soothed, and comforted. He let himself cry, and feel, and _be_.

“I'm sorry,” Harry whispered, body trembling as he tried to get his tears under control, his face flush with embarrassment.“I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be,” Louis insisted. “We all need a good cry every once in awhile, right?”

“God,” Harry laughed, pulling back and wiping his eyes furiously. “I don't even know where that came from.”

“That probably means it was long overdue,” Louis said wisely. “Next time I'm having an emotional breakdown, I'll be sure to cry on your shoulder and then we'll call it even, hmm?”

“Have those often, then?” Harry teased.

“You'd be surprised,” Louis said dryly with a raise of his eyebrows, making Harry giggle. When Louis opened his arm back up for a cuddle, Harry went without hesitation, hunching over and resting his face in Louis' shoulder.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, loosely hugging at the kitchen sink before Harry's back started to hurt and he pulled away.

“Come out with me and the lads,” Louis said, trying again. “I promise you that no one will bother you as long as you're with me, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry agreed softly.

The smile that lit up Louis' face was worth whatever lingering doubts Harry had.

Harry and Louis walked down the road quietly towards the little village. It was an easy silence, one that the two had learned to have together over the past couple of weeks, and Harry let himself take a moment to enjoy simply being able to exist with another person, without worries or expectations.

"You'll like my mates, I think," Louis said after awhile. "Liam's one of my oldest friends. We grew up together and he helps out on the farm when he can. Niall works at the pub, and is a riot. He's probably the friendliest person you'll ever meet. Two minutes with him and he'll be your best friend," Louis laughed. "And Zayn is my very best mate. He was my flatmate in London, and we became super close, like brothers really. Then, after the accident, without even questioning it, Zayn packed up and moved back with me. I would never have asked him to do that, but he wouldn't hear of it."

"Wow," Harry breathed.

"I know," Louis sighed. "He's too good sometimes, he really is. But, truth be told, I'd have been completely lost up here without him. The first few months were...well, I'm sure you can imagine," Louis trailed off with a hollow laugh.

"I can't," Harry said honestly. "Not even close."

Louis looked back at him with a surprised look on his face before he gave a small smile.

"Thank you," Louis said sincerely. "For saying that. Most people seem to think they could."

Something in the way Louis spoke made Harry's heart burn and his insides come to life. He was told he was special all the time--from agents, to managers, to producers, to photographers--he was told he was special for his voice, or his hair, or his lips, or his eyes, or his abs. He was never told he was special for his kindness. The fact that Louis recognized that about him made him feel something that he couldn't quite identify. But it made him feel, and that was enough for now.

"Most people suck," Harry said after a beat, smiling at the way Louis threw his head back and cackled out a laugh.

"Sometimes they do," Louis mused.

"I haven't seen my mum in over a year," Harry said quietly. "It wasn't on purpose at first...and then it kind of was."

"Do you not get along?"

"No, no, it's not that at all. I talk to her almost every week over the phone, I just haven't actually seen her in person," Harry clarified.

"Don't you miss her?" Louis asked, then backtracked as if sensing the rudeness in his own question. "Sorry, that's your business."

"No, it's okay," Harry said, waving him off. "I do miss her. A lot, actually. Quite a lot. It's just...complicated."

"You say that a lot," Louis mused with an affectionate smile.

"My _ life _ is complicated!" Harry laughed.

"I would usually make some joke about the poor life of the rich and famous right about now, but I'm sure it's not as easy as it looks on telly."

"I don't know how it is for other people," Harry said honestly. "But, for me...it's difficult, sometimes. It's not even the fame, or people wanting to talk to me or take my picture, that stuff doesn't really bother me. I knew that's what I was signing up for when I auditioned for The X Factor. It's everything else—the lack of control, the fact that I'm treated as if I'm expendable, like some kind of performing monkey that they'll eventually just have to put down when I get too old. They keep sending me on publicity stunt after publicity stunt, going on fake dates with any and all celebrities, and I'm just...I'm torn apart in the papers. I'm seen as some sort of womanizer who doesn't give two shits about anyone other than myself and...that really couldn't be further from the truth. I don't even think I've thought about dating a girl since I was like 15? I'm gay, and it's like this huge, shameful secret that management won't let me admit to, even though I'm pretty sure the entire world suspects at this point. I have very little control over what kind of music I can and can't record, I have absolutely zero control over my own image, and I'm...very much alone," Harry admitted, shocked that he had revealed so much.

"And you feel like you can't talk to your mum about all of this?" Louis asked kindly.

"I don't even know who I am anymore," Harry admitted shamefully. "It's like I'm lost somewhere in a sea of who I was and who they want me to be, and I'm so far gone that I can't even remember who I actually am. I don't want my mum to see that."

It was silent for a moment as the two boys kept walking. Louis moved to sling an arm around Harry's waist, squeezing his side as he said, "so you ran away to our tiny little village to live out the rest of your days as a farmhand, is that right?" he teased.

"Something like that," Harry laughed. "It's probably the most selfish, impulsive thing I've ever done, coming here. A lot of things had to be cancelled, and I probably cost someone quite a bit of money..."

"And?" Louis teased, blue eyes shining in the twilight.

"It was probably the best thing I've ever done," Harry finished, giving a wry grin and a self-conscious smile.

"That's the spirit!" Louis laughed. "Don't you worry, we'll get you feeling right in no time. Just stick with me."

Harry couldn't really imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

Although Harry had been slightly concerned about going into town, it turned out that he really didn't have anything to worry about. He was recognized once in the pub, by a twenty-something girl who did a double-take and said "aren't you...?"

Before Harry could even respond, Louis was already answering.

"Hey El, how've you been?" Louis asked, moving to give her a hug.

"Great, Louis, and you?" She answered with a genuine smile. "Good to see you out, yeah?"

"I know, it's been awhile! Things on the farm are busy as ever, but they're good. Can't complain. Have you met my friend Harry?" Louis asked, moving to introduce them.

"Hi," Harry said.

"Hello," El greeted pleasantly, shaking his hand.

"Haz, this is Eleanor. We went to school together back in the day," Louis introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Harry said politely.

"Likewise," Eleanor said, narrowing her eyes at the two of them. "Sorry, how do you two know each other?"

"Mutual friends in London," Louis said easily. "Harry needed a vacation, and this seemed quiet enough to do the trick. Do me a favor, yeah, and just keep it to yourself that he's here, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Eleanor agreed easily. "My lips are sealed, I promise."

"Thank you," Harry said sincerely. When they continued on through the pub, making their way to the table with Louis' friend, Harry leaned down to whisper in Louis' ear, "do you really think she won't tell?"

Louis turned and leaned up, stretching to talk into Harry's ear over the din of the pub.

"Nah, she's an old friend," Louis said, hot breath coming out in puffs against Harry's skin, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "She'll make sure it stays quiet that you're here. I promise."

"Okay," Harry agreed. There was no reason to believe him, not really, but despite his better judgment Harry trusted Louis, and Louis promised, so he would believe him.

Louis' friends turned out to be exactly as Louis had described them. Niall had recognized him straightaway, a self-proclaimed lover of pop music, but was extremely cool about it, welcoming him into the group easily, like he had been there all along. Liam was kind and easygoing, buying him a pint immediately, and making Harry laugh with stories about Louis from their childhood. Zayn was quieter, and immensely protective over Louis, but eased up as time went by and by the end of the night gave Harry a bear hug with everyone else.

They all parted with plans to meet up again in a few days, and as Harry walked home with Louis by his side, happily buzzed on beer and good company, he realized that  _ this is what happy feels like. _

"I like your friends," Harry said with a smile.

"I thought you might," Louis grinned.

"Thank you for bringing me," Harry continued, taking in a long breath of fresh night air.

"Thank you for coming," Louis said softly. "It wasn't so bad, hmm?"

"No," Harry chuckled. "You were right, it was good for me, I think. To get out of the house and into the real world."

"I have a feeling that this is far from your real world," Louis teased.

"True," Harry laughed, then frowned slightly. He wasn't sure if it was the quiet, peacefulness of the night or the alcohol in his system that gave him the courage to continue on, "It's the world I want to live in, though. My real world is so different from everyone else's."

Louis was silent for a minute, before wrapping an arm around Harry supportively.

"There's so much going on inside of that curly head of yours," Louis said fondly, reaching a hand out to ruffle his hair. "There's really only one world, you know, and you're only living a part of it. What's stopping you from doing your job _and_ being a 'real person'?"

Harry frowned, staring at the ground as his footsteps slowed, trying to gather his thoughts. Louis made a good point, but it was also unusually naive of him. Things just weren't that simple.

"Everything I do has a price on it," Harry said softly. "Even if I try to go out to the pub with mates, someone is going to call the paparazzi, and a simple night out will turn into something twisted for personal gain, and I don't want to be that person. Not anymore."

"Someone always calls the paparazzi?" Louis challenged. "What about tonight?"

"No, I don't mean like people I meet on the streets...I mean my friends," Harry admitted softly.

"Sounds like you need some new friends," Louis said, a dark look of anger settling over his face like a veil. "What kind of horrible people do you hang around with anyway?"

"You have no idea," Harry laughed hollowly. "I don't even remember what it's like to have a friend who doesn't try to use me for something."

"That's shit."

"Yeah."

"Well, I hope you know that I won't ever use you," Louis said decidedly. "I don't know how long you're planning on hanging around, but...you can trust me."

"I know," Harry said softly, fixing Louis with a small smile. "It's so weird, but I do trust you."

"Why is that weird?"

“I don't trust people easily,” Harry said with a shrug.

“I'm glad you trust me,” Louis said sincerely, making Harry grin and look at the ground.

“Is it weird that I kind of feel like I could tell you anything?” Harry asked sheepishly.

Louis grinned happily before looking up into the night sky, giving Harry a shrug as he said, “is it weird that I kind of want you to?”

Harry grinned and bumped his shoulder into Louis', knocking the older boy into the grass next to the road for a couple of steps before Louis giggled and caught up with Harry. They walked in amicable silence for a little while, and as Harry's cottage grew closer, he found himself wishing that the night wouldn't have to end.

Louis must have been having similar thoughts because he suddenly stopped and asked, “Can I show you something?"

“Sure,” Harry agreed easily, because he would follow Louis anywhere.

Louis' answering grin tied a knot in Harry's stomach that never quite let go.

“Follow me.”

Louis turned from the road and hopped a fence with practiced grace. Harry's attempt to scale the fence was less graceful and more baby animal learning to walk, but it got the job done and Harry was grateful that Louis chose not to tease him about it.

They walked across a field and into a grove of trees. The trees were blocking out the moonlight and it became darker and darker the further they walked.

“Um, where are we going?” Harry asked finally.

“You'll see,” Louis said evasively. “We're almost there.”

They walked for a few more minutes before Louis stopped and said “Here we are.”

Harry looked around in confusion before following Louis gaze up, up, up, seeing a small treehouse nestled among the green leaves above them.

“A treehouse,” Harry said with a small smile, before looking back at Louis. “Yours?”

“My dad and I built it when I was little. It was like our way of bonding before he married my mum,” Louis explained.

“He's not your biological dad?” Harry asked, surprised.

“No,” Louis said simply, before scaling the rope ladder with practiced ease. Harry followed suit, and once they were both sitting on the small wooden floor, Louis sighed and continued his story. “My biological dad split when I was really little, like just a couple weeks old or something, so it was just me and my mum for a few years before she met Mark, my dad. He adopted me, and they got married, and the rest is history.”

“Wow,” Harry said softly. “I'm lucky in that way, I guess. My parents divorced when my sister and I were pretty young too, but they get along well enough and both my dad and my step-dad are really great.”

“It sounds worse than it was,” Louis said honestly. “Like, it sucks to think about objectively, that my biological dad didn't want me, but to be honest it's not something that I think about often. My dad never made me feel like I was any less his than the girls, and after awhile we kind of all forgot that I wasn't, you know?”

“He sounds like he was a really great dad.”

“Yeah,” Louis said softly, eyes shifting towards his lap, “he really was.”

“What was your mum like?” Harry asked.

“Amazing,” Louis laughed, a sad smile spreading across his face. “She loved to laugh. I mean really, just, was able to find humor in almost anything. And she had five kids and a farm, and...I used to be convinced that she could do anything. I love both of my parents, but losing her was...” Louis trailed off, lips forming a thin line as his eyes welled up with tears. Harry didn't even think, just instinctively moved closer, wrapping an arm around Louis and letting him cuddle into his chest. “She...she used to say I was her best friend.”

“I'm sorry,” Harry whispered. “If it's too, like, painful, you don't have to talk about it.”

“No, it's okay,” Louis promised. “It helps sometimes, to talk about them. It's just like, never going to _not_ be painful, you know?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed softly.

“She used to call me every single day,” Louis said with a wet laugh. “When I was in uni and in London, literally every single day I would get a call from her. I used to get so angry, like, Mum, what do you think I'm doing? We just talked literally not even 24 hours ago and already you're calling to check up on me,” Louis chuckled.

“Mums are like that,” Harry said fondly.

“She would have loved you,” Louis said sincerely. “You would have completely charmed her from the word go.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely,” Louis scoffed. “Please, you take charming to a whole other level. Don't pretend like you don't know it, either!”

“Does that mean _you_ think I'm charming?” Harry teased, making Louis roll his eyes.

“I think you're charming when you want to be charming.”

“And the rest of the time?”

“You're just Harry,” Louis said with a shrug.

“You're one of the only people in the world who sees me like that,” Harry said, dimpled grin overtaking his face.

“The rest of the world are idiots,” Louis scoffed, making Harry laugh. Harry stretched out his legs and leaned back against the wall, pulling Louis back with him so that they were propped up together, cuddling.

“It's so strange, but I'm not even tired,” Harry said softly after a few minutes of companionable silence.

“Why is that strange?”

“I'm always tired. I'm so used to being pulled in every direction—one country one day, then across the world the next that I'm just constantly exhausted. I think this is the longest I've stayed in once place in...years, honestly,” Harry explained.

“I know the feeling,” Louis sighed. “Well, not travelling the world, obviously, but...being tired.”

“Does it ever get to be too much?” Harry asked softly.

“All the time,” Louis whispered honestly.

Harry didn't know what to say to that, so he just hugged Louis tighter.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry asked.

“Yeah?”

“You're kind of the best person I've ever known.”

“Likewise, Curly,” Louis laughed, burying his nose in Harry's chest.

“Hey, I was being serious!” Harry laughed, poking Louis in the side and making him squirm.

“So was I,” Louis giggled, swatting at Harry's hand.

“Impossible.”

“Shut up and take the compliment,” Louis laughed, digging his fingers into Harry's sides in retaliation, making Harry giggle and squirm, legs flailing. “Control yourself, Jesus,” Louis teased. “You're like some kind of gangly baby giraffe.”

“Am not!” Harry protested weakly, breathless from laughter. “I'm very manly and strong.”

“The manliest,” Louis agreed with a laugh, finger coming up to poke at Harry's dimple.

“Don't make fun of my dimples!”

“I'm not!” Louis protested. “They're adorable. You're so sensitive, Harold, honestly.”

“Well, can you blame me?” Harry laughed.

“You are the most ridiculous human being. There's not one thing I would change about you. Obviously.”

_ Oh. _ Well. That's...good. That's  _ really _ good, actually.

“I could have a small penis,” Harry joked, trying to lighten the mood to stop his heart from pounding so hard. Louis just rolled his eyes and rolled off of Harry's chest, lying down next to him so their shoulders were touching, folding his hands across his stomach.

“Please,” Louis said, his eyes closed but mouth quirked up in a smirk. “With hands like yours? I'm not blind.”

Harry just grinned and rolled his eyes. There was no arguing with that, really.

After that night, it was like something changed, something was different between the two of them. They were closer than ever, but yet not quite close enough. After that night, Harry was pretty sure that he was completely, and utterly in love with Louis, and he felt like he was on edge all the time, just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for one of them to make the first move. And it was driving him  _ crazy _ , spending so much time with Louis,  _ around _ Louis, and not being able to  _ touch  _ him or  _ kiss _ him like he wanted, like he was pretty sure Louis wanted too. They just kept dancing around each other, moving their flirting into the shameless category, just waiting. Waiting for  _ something _ .

That something came one night when Harry was helping Louis clean up from dinner. The girls were watching television in the living room, and Harry and Louis were washing up in companionable silence, the sounds of the latest X Factor auditions echoing throughout the house.

“Harry!” Fizzy called from the couch “does Simon even own any other shirts?”

“Probably not,” Harry laughed. “Not that I've seen, at least.”

“Louis, did we vote for Harry when he was on the X Factor?” Daisy asked, too young to remember anything about Harry's stint on the show.

“I did!” Lottie said proudly.

“Did you really?” Harry asked, feeling strangely enormously pleased to hear that.

“I did!” Lottie insisted. “I begged Mum to let me call in, I thought you were super dreamy.”

“It's true,” Louis teased. “She loved your curls.”

“Don't worry, the illusion has been broken,” she laughed, turning around so she had a view of the kitchen to stick her tongue out at him.

“My curls are still dreamy, thank you very much!” Harry protested, pretending to be offended.

“Mum loved your hair, remember, Lottie?” Fizzy said.

“That's right!” Lottie exclaimed, a smile breaking over her face at the memory. “You were her favorite contestant, she thought you were just the sweetest boy, and so adorable. God, I had completely forgotten.”

The girls began chattering away with similar memories, but Harry went still at the sink, putting his hands on the counter and hunching over as a flurry of emotions ran through him.

“You alright?” Louis asked, concerned.

Harry looked at Louis, expression open and unguarded, sad and vulnerable, as he said, “I wish I could have known them, your parents.”

Harry had thought that before, of course, but the more he got to know and love Louis and the girls, the more it hurt to think it. To know that such amazing people, who raised such amazing children, were completely gone from this earth; to know that Harry would never get to see in person just how much the girls look like their mother, or see the way Louis' sharp wit would play off of his parents'. He would never get to ask them what Louis was like as a baby, or see his mum taking care of Louis the way Louis deserved to be taken care of. He could never see any of it, and that thought  _ hurt _ .

Louis' face registered surprise for only a second before he took Harry's wrist in his hand.

“They would _love_ you,” Louis whispered sincerely, and just like that, before Harry could even blink, Louis' lips were on his.

It took Harry less than half a second to respond, kissing Louis slowly, taking the time to imprint every last detail of the kiss in his memory forever. Louis' lips were impossibly soft; his stubble scratched Harry's chin, and his hands were  _ so _ gentle as he brought them up to tangle themselves in Harry's hair. It wasn't the hottest kiss Harry had ever had, or the sexiest. It wasn't a kiss that would have them shedding their clothes and heading into the bedroom within minutes, but it was a kiss that made Harry feel impossibly loved, and cared for, and that made it the single most beautiful kiss of his life.

When they pulled apart, Louis was looking up at Harry with wide, nervous eyes.

“Please tell me I didn't read that wrong,” Louis whispered. Harry just laughed at the absurdity of that question before pulling him in for another kiss.

The second time Louis pulled away, Harry groaned in frustration, leaning forward to chase Louis' lips with his own.

“Hang on,” Louis whispered, putting a gentle hand up to Harry's chest to stop him.

“What is it?” Harry asked.

“It's too quiet,” Louis said knowingly, and as he and Louis snapped their heads up to look towards the living room, they saw four girls twirl around on the couch, trying to pretend as though they weren't just spying on the couple.

“Well, that didn't stay secret for long,” Harry giggled.

“Things around here rarely do,” Louis said dryly, rolling his eyes before saying, “Come on, let me walk you home before they start asking questions.”

“Always the gentleman,” Harry teased, following Louis towards the front door.

“Alright girls, I'm gonna walk Harry home. I'll be back in a bit,” Louis announced, breezing through the room with ease.

“Is that what they call it these days?” Lottie teased, and Harry just gaped at her, scandalized. He reached out a hand and messed up her hair as he walked past her.

“Cheeky,” Harry said.

“Be good,” Louis said, and got four noises of assent before they were out the door.

“Lottie's going to be the death of me, I swear to God,” Louis laughed, shaking his head.

“She's growing up,” Harry said knowingly.

“That she is,” Louis sighed. “I lose sleep over that girl. With the twins, and even Fizzy to some extent, I'm so much older than they are that the transition from brother to parent wasn't really that huge. But, with Lottie...I'm still learning how to be both her brother and her parent, you know?”

“It can't be easy,” Harry said sympathetically. “And she has a mouth on her, I'm sure she doesn't make it very easy sometimes.”

“That's the truth,” Louis laughed, before looking at Harry pensively. “She likes you, though. They all do, but Lottie especially. She tells you things that I know she doesn't tell me.”

Harry knew the truth of Louis' statement. Although he got along with all of the girls,  _ loved _ them all, Lottie was the one who would seek him out most often for advice, usually about a boy or her friends, and they had some very nice chats. Harry wasn't sure how good his advice was, but he at least knew enough to make sure that she was always respecting herself, and demanding respect from others.

“Does that bother you?” Harry asked, after a minute.

“No!” Louis exclaimed. “Not at all. Quite the opposite, really. I'm really pleased that she has someone she can talk to who, like, has more life experience and wisdom than her friends, you know?”

“She's a good kid, Louis,” Harry said honestly. “They all are.” And it was true. For as much as those children had been through over the last few years, Harry wouldn't blame them if they were emotional wrecks, but they were quite the opposite. They were charming, polite, silly, _resilient_ girls, and Harry was hopelessly endeared by the entire family.

They walked in silence for a minute, and Harry frowned at Louis, sensing the tension radiating off of the older boy in waves.

“What's wrong?” Harry asked, catching Louis' hand in his own and pulling him to a stop.

“I kissed you,” Louis whispered, forehead raised and crinkled, creating a little line between his eyebrows that made Harry want to reach out and run his fingers over it until he had completely smoothed all the worry away.

“I was there,” Harry agreed, letting a small smile play at his lips to try and show Louis that he wasn't upset by what had transpired.

“I kissed you and all of my sisters saw,” Louis repeated.

“Agreed,” Harry said, because he wasn't sure what else to say.

“I'm kind of freaking out right now,” Louis admitted softly. Oh. Well, freaking out Harry could deal with, at least that meant they were communicating. Harry just hoped that the end result would lead to more kissing and not with the words 'it was a mistake'.

“Okay, walk me through it. Why are you freaking out?”

“I don't even know how to have this conversation,” Louis laughed, burying his face in his hands with a sigh.

“And what conversation is that?” Harry asked, heart in his throat as he continued, “the 'that was an amazing kiss, let's do it again sometime' conversation, or the 'that was an amazing kiss but a total mistake, let's never do it again conversation'?”

Louis dropped his hands at that, looking at Harry with alarm.

“Oh, Harry, no, not _that_ conversation,” Louis insisted earnestly. “It _was_ an amazing kiss, and I would _love_ to do it again. Often. It's just...there's another conversation that we need to have. The 'I have four kids' conversation. And I'll be honest with you, you're the first person I've been remotely interested in since moving back here, so I've no idea how to have this conversation. Like, do you know how, when something big in your life changes, everything is really different at first, and then it just becomes normal? Until you suddenly have one moment that brings it all flying back and you're left feeling completely unprepared? I'm having one of those moments now. I mean, this is certainly not a conversation I thought I'd ever be having at 25.”

“Lou,” Harry chuckled fondly, pulling him against his chest and wrapping him in a hug because he couldn't bear not touching him a moment longer. “Of course you have four kids. I'm quite familiar with them, in case you've forgotten?”

“No, I know that. I just mean, like...not to sound like a crazy divorced dad here or anything, but they need stability. They get attached. They're _already_ attached. I can't do casual, not with them. So, like, we need to be on the same page about that. And I get that you're not here permanently, so if you're not looking for anything other than casual, then we should probably stop this before we get started. Not because I don't want to, but...they wouldn't understand casual. And I don't want them to be heartbroken when you leave. I'd understand, if that's what you want.”

And, there it was. The cold hard truth that Harry had been avoiding for almost two months. He  _ was _ leaving, eventually. As much as it may feel like it, this wasn't  _ actually _ his home. But...despite that very prominent fact, Harry couldn't imagine  _ not _ being with Louis,  _ not _ trying to make it work.

“And what about you?” Harry asked. “What do _you_ want?” Because before he jumped, he had to be sure.

“I want _you_ ,” Louis said quietly, simply. “All of you. Whatever you're willing to give. Everything.”

“ _Lou_ ,” Harry whispered, reaching out to take Louis' face in his hands, looking directly into Louis' eyes as he continued, “How could you not know? I'm already yours.”

Louis let out a strangled noise before crashing their lips together. Unlike their previous kisses, this was all need, and lust, and passion. Louis' lips slid over his sinfully, as Louis worked his mouth open with his tongue. Harry let out a soft gasp as Louis gripped his hair hard, tilting his head to the side to grant him better access. Louis kissed him like he was starved for it and by the time they pulled apart Harry's head was fuzzy with need.

_ Fuck _ , but he wanted Louis. He'd wanted him from the very second he'd laid eyes on him walking up his drive, and it had only gotten more intense as time went on. He wanted him when he was cooking dinner for the girls, clumsily navigating his way around the kitchen with his limited culinary skills. He wanted him when he was in the barn, in his ridiculous coveralls. He wanted him when the barn got too hot and his coveralls would come off along with his shirt. He wanted him  _ all the time _ .

“We're never gonna make it home if we keep this up,” Louis giggled.

“M'gonna be honest, don't care. Who needs a home, anyway?”

“No,” Louis laughed. “Come on, I'll make it worth your while.”

“What's so special about home, anyway?” Harry pouted, although he let himself be led down the road, Louis hand warm and intertwined with his own.

“Soft bed,” Louis said. “Warm shower. It has many advantages.”

Okay, Harry could give him that. Still, he wasn't going down without a fight. He'd been waiting for this for  _ two months _ , and even the prospect of waiting five more minutes seemed like an eternity.

“Want you so bad,” Harry whispered into Louis' ear, feeling the older boy tense up next to him. Harry smirked, loving the fact that he could get such a reaction out of Louis. Continuing to push the envelope, Harry reached out and cupped Louis' through his jeans, the feeling of him hot and hard making Harry's cock twitch in anticipation. “Fuck,” Harry whispered, as Louis' nails dug into his arm. “I've thought about this so much, think about you all the time. Wanna suck you, wanna taste you, I bet you have such a pretty cock.”

“ _Jesus,_ ” Louis cursed, hips twitching forward into Harry's hand as Louis let out a soft moan. “You are such a menace. A terrible influence.”

“You love it,” Harry said lowly, no intention of stopping now that he'd gotten started. He couldn't quite explain it, but he wanted to see how far he could push Louis—Louis, who was always toeing the line of playfulness and responsibility—Harry wanted to take him apart, to watch as he came undone. Harry wanted to see how badly he could make him want it.

“ _Harry,”_ Louis moaned as Harry worked him over his jeans.

“You do,” Harry insisted, leaning down to kiss wetly at Louis' neck, feeling him tremble at the sensation. “You want me too, I know you do. I've seen the way you look at me when we're working and you think I'm distracted. I've seen the way your cheeks flush and you bite your lip. You know what I bet you don't know? How hard I get from watching you. You look so fucking gorgeous like this,” Harry said, taking Louis' hand and placing it over his own throbbing cock.

Louis let out a strangled moan, eyes fluttering closed as he palmed at Harry over his jeans.

“Feel how bad I want you?” Harry asked. “I've fucking dreamed of this, wanked to it, for so long. I touched myself, imagining it was you, your fingers inside of me, your cock filling me up.

“Jesus, fuck,” Louis groaned, grabbing Harry roughly and pulling him off of the road and behind a large tree, immediately slamming Harry up against it and covering his mouth with his own. Louis' fingers dug into Harry's skin as he ground their hips together, and Harry's head hit the tree as he threw it back with a moan.

“Louis, yeah,” Harry panted, hands cupping Louis' ass as he pulled their hips together, grinding up against each other, impossibly close.

“Look at you,” Louis breathed. “Practically gagging for it, aren't you? I bet you'd love it if I got my cock out right here for you, wouldn't you? Let you suck on it with those pretty lips.”

And  _God,_ if that wasn't one of his favorite things about Louis—he always gave as good as he got.

“ _Yes,_ ” Harry panted, keening, because yes, yes, _God_ , yes, he wanted that.

“On your knees, then,” Louis said, and Harry sunk down eagerly, fingers making swift work of Louis' fly. “But if you get us arrested for public indecency, I'm blaming this entire ordeal on you,” Louis laughed. Harry giggled, pressing a couple of playful kisses to Louis' abdomen before pulling him out of his trousers. Harry took a minute to admire Louis' cock. It was big, not the biggest Harry'd ever had, but still nothing to sniff at. It was pink and uncut and already leaking precome and just fucking _beautiful_.

“God, I _knew_ you'd have a pretty cock,” Harry said, and before Louis could respond Harry had wrapped his lips around the head experimentally, and all Louis could do was groan. Harry pulled off and licked slowly up and down the shaft, swirling his tongue around the head a few times before taking him back in his mouth, further down this time, still teasing. He went slow as he bobbed his head up and down taking more and more of him in his mouth every time he went.

He glanced up and was pleased to see Louis staring down at him, slack-jawed and breathing heavily as he watched his cock disappear into Harry's mouth, eyes never blinking. Louis' hand moved to tangle itself in Harry's hair, and Harry closed his eyes, letting out a soft moan before taking Louis in all the way until he was hitting the back of his throat.

“ _Harry_ ,” Louis moaned. “Fuck, it's been so long, I'm not gonna last long.”

And that fact, the fact that it had been  _two years_ since Louis had last had sex with someone just spurred Harry on, making him work harder, tongue running up and down the underside of his length as Louis gave up all pretenses of being quiet and was letting out a string of moans that made every hair on Harry's body stand at attention.

“Ungh, m'gonna—gonna,” Louis panted, pulling on Harry's hair, but Harry just bore down further, hands gripping Louis hips as he lost it, hot streams of come hitting the back of Harry's throat. Harry kept going, milking him of every last drop before pulling off and swallowing, pressing more kisses into Louis' hipbone as Louis' hands carded through his hair.

Harry was impossibly hard in his jeans, struggling to stand up.

“Baby,” Louis whispered, pulling Harry to his feet before unfastening his jeans, freeing his throbbing cock and taking it in his hand.

Harry found himself back up against the tree again as Louis' hand was stroking him quickly, lips pressing hot kisses to Harry's neck. Harry was whimpering,  _sososo close_ , when Louis sucked a mark into his collarbone, the delicious pressure pushing Harry over the edge, spilling into Louis' hand with a shuttered moan.

Harry took one look at Louis, who had knelt down to wipe his hand on the grass, looking back at Harry with fond exasperation, and that was all it took for them both to burst out in delighted laughter.

“You are such a bad influence, Harold,” Louis teased playfully.

“I am a fantastic influence!” Harry protested with a laugh. “I'm opening you up to new experiences.”

“Ugh,” Louis groaned, standing back up and wrapping his arms around Harry, staring up at him softly. “The things I want to do to you...”

“You'll get your chance,” Harry said, grinning back down at him. “I'm not going anywhere. I promise.”

And he meant that. The complications they'd figure out together. As far as he was concerned, he was home.

Harry did eventually make it back to the cottage, after some more snogging and lots of giggling. He promised Louis that he'd be over for breakfast, and after shutting the door he stood there for a moment, trying to take in everything that had just happened. He couldn't quite wipe the grin off of his face, didn't quite want to, and for the first time in two months, went into the kitchen and pulled out his phone from the drawer underneath the counter. Taking a deep breath, he turned it on.

It was funny, as the screen lit up and the phone came to life, Harry realized that he was feeling none of the previous stress and anguish that had led him to turn it off in the first place.

42 voicemails and 372 text messages. Harry didn't dare check his email, knowing that it would be completely out of control. He took a minute to scroll through his text messages, all variations on the same theme.

_Maaaaaate, come out tonight!_

_You in town?_

_Ring me!_

_Thinking of you ;)_

_I've got a great PR opportunity, let me know if you're interested!_

Rolling his eyes, Harry deleted them all without a second thought. It was time for him to move on.

He went into his contacts and pulled up a familiar name, one he should have contacted long before this. The phone rang a couple of times before a frantic female voice answered, immediately bringing a smile to Harry's face.

“You piece of shit, do you have any idea how long it's been since I last heard from you?!”

“Sorry, Gems,” Harry laughed.

“How are you? Are you alive? Are you covered in more tattoos? Have you chopped off all of your hair?” Gemma teased.

“I'm good. I'm great, actually. And no, no more tattoos, and I still have all of my hair.”

“You sound good,” Gemma said sincerely. “Tell me what you've been up to, I never thought that you'd ever last this long so far away from civilization!”

“This is...exactly what I needed,” Harry said, head swimming with everything he wanted to tell his sister and absolutely no idea where to start. “I've kind of become a farmhand, if you can believe it.”

“What?!” Gemma laughed. “I do not believe that, not at all!”

“It's true! Louis has a dairy farm, and I've been helping out there every day. It's literally been the most freeing thing I ever could have done.”

“Louis, that's the landlord, right?” Gemma asked, immediately narrowing in as only sisters do.

“He is my landlord, yes. And, also, kind of my boyfriend?”

“I knew it!” Gemma exclaimed triumphantly. “I knew there had to be a boy. You never would have lasted this long if you were in total isolation. So, tell me all about him.”

Harry smiled and walked into the living room, settling back into the couch. This is why he completely adored his sister. She didn't ask about his career, or his plans, or his money. She just wanted him to be happy, full stop.

“He's...amazing, Gemma. He's been through so much, and he still has the best sense of humor, and the biggest heart. And he just...he doesn't care who I am, or what I do for a living. He cares about _me,_ he sees _me..._ I've never had that before, not with anyone.”

“Aww!” Gemma cooed. “He sounds perfect!”

“He is,” Harry said sincerely.

“So what's he doing with a dairy farm? Oh God, please don't tell me he's like a 40 year old divorcé with two kids, because I know your style.”

“Well, not exactly...” Harry trailed off with a laugh. “He's 25.”

“Okay, good start.”

“But he does have four kids.”

“Four?!” Gemma exclaimed incredulously. “Four! Four children? How does that even happen to a 25 year old?”

“They're his little sisters,” Harry giggled. “He takes care of them. He was living in London, but then their parents died and he moved back here to care for them.”

“Oh. Well, that's not nearly as sordid as what I had been imagining. But, far more noble,” Gemma concluded. “Are they all girls? How old?”

“They are,” Harry confirmed. “Lottie is 14, but she thinks she's going on 18; Fizzy is 12, and just trying to find her place, I think; and the twins, Daisy and Phoebe, are 8, and they're completely brilliant and diabolical.”

“You like them,” Gemma inferred, and Harry could hear her smile over the phone.

“I do,” Harry agreed. “I like them quite a lot, actually.”

“So, you run away to the countryside and come back with a little family of your own. So typical,” Gemma teased.

“That was not my original plan, but that is kind of how things worked out,” Harry laughed.

“So tell me, when are you coming home then? When can I meet your boy?”

“Well...” Harry trailed off. “That's the thing. I don't—I don't really know if I _am_. Coming home, that is.”

“What, ever?” Gemma asked, surprised.

“I don't really know,” Harry admitted softly. “I still have some things I need to figure out, but...this feels like home, in a way that London never did.”

“What about your job? Aren't you under a contract?” Gemma asked. “And, more than that, you _love_ what you do. I know you do.”

“I do,” Harry agreed. “I don't think I want to quit, but I just...I need more time. I have something really good here, something that could be amazing, and I have to be _in_ it, you know? I can't fall in love here and then just up and move back to London, right?”

“You're in love?” Gemma asked softly.

“I think so,” Harry confirmed quietly. “And I just need to let things come together here first before I think about where I'm gonna go in my career, you know?”

“No, that...that makes sense,” Gemma said, sounding strangely proud of him. “That's such a mature decision, Haz.”

“I have my moments,” Harry laughed. “I'm gonna contact management tomorrow, tell them I'm taking four more months as a hiatus to write. That'll give me a six month break in total, which I think I've kind of earned.”

“More than,” Gemma agreed. “Will they go for it, you think?”

“I'll have to go to London for a meeting about it, I'm sure, and there will probably be some stipulations, but yeah, in the end I'm sure they will. It's better for them than the alternative."

“Which is?”

“Breaking contract,” Harry said simply.

“Look at you, growing up and getting a backbone!” Gemma laughed happily.

“It had to happen sooner or later,” Harry giggled.

“I'm so proud of you, Harry,” Gemma said honestly.

“Thanks,” Harry said, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks as he continued, “I'm kind of proud of me too.”

“You should be,” Gemma said confidently. “As much as it pains me to admit it, you're not a little kid anymore. No one can push you around unless you let them.”

“Things are gonna change,” Harry said, promising himself as much as his sister. “Listen, I'm gonna ring Mum tonight too, but if I come up in a couple weeks and try and bring Lou and the girls with me, would you come home for a visit?”

“I wouldn't miss it for the world,” Gemma promised happily. “Fair warning, though, Mum is probably going to cry. Don't think she hasn't been counting the days since you were last home.”

“I know,” Harry said guiltily. “It's been too long.”

“You did what you needed to do, Haz, there's nothing wrong with that,” Gemma promised. “Just don't let it go a year next time, yeah?”

“Promise,” Harry said. “I'll ring you later with the details. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Gemma said, before hanging up.

Harry ended the call before deciding to FaceTime with his mum. He held the phone up and lay back on the couch, relaxing as he waited for her to answer. When she did, her excited face filled the screen and he couldn't help but grin and wave.

“Hello my darling!” Anne exclaimed happily.

“Hi, Mum!”

“How are you? Look at you! You look great! Have you got a tan?”

“I'm good,” Harry laughed. “And yeah, probably a bit. I've got loads to tell you, but first, I think I wanna come home for a bit. I really miss you, Mum.”

The moment Anne heard those words come out of his mouth, her entire face softened and tears sprang to her eyes, hand coming up to clutch at her heart as her entire body screamed of _relief_.

“Oh, darling,” Anne sniffed. “I miss you too. So, so much. Come home any time. Any time at all.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, you can find me here: andthensusays.tumblr.com


	3. Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments and patience while I've worked to get this chapter finished!! I'm sorry it took so long, but real life has been a bit demanding these last couple of weeks, and this was a chapter that I didn't want to rush. I hope you all enjoy!

The next morning, Harry walked into Louis' house quietly, as he usually did, since he typically got there before most of the girls were awake. Louis was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea, and looked up when Harry walked in. His mischievous eyes sparkled as he bit back a grin. Harry grinned back unashamedly, walking over and leaning down for a good morning kiss.

“Hi,” Harry whispered.

“Hi,” Louis returned, finally giving in and letting his grin overtake his face, pulling Harry back down for one more kiss.

“Was everything alright when you got home last night?” Harry asked.

“Other than the merciless teasing from my sisters, yes,” Louis laughed. “They're happy, though, I promise.”

“Want me to make breakfast?” Harry asked.

“I will never say no to that,” Louis said happily. “Smell of bacon cooking should wake the girls up. Not too much longer before school will start, then you'll really see how crazy it gets around here.”

“Yeah, but I'll be here to help with the school run. Should make things a little less chaotic, right?” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah,” Louis said after a pause, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

“What's wrong?” Harry asked, pulling out the chair next to Louis and sitting down.

“It's nothing,” Louis said, trying for a more convincing smile. “Just me being silly, I promise.”

“No, what is it?” Harry pressed.

“It's just...” Louis sighed. “I know that you're here like, figuring yourself out, but like...I know that you have to go back to London eventually. You must have _some_ idea of when that might be? You say things like you'll be around to help with the school run, and that would be _amazing_ , but...I just can't help but wonder how long that will be for? And I know I'm being silly, it's way too soon to ask for you to know any of this, or figure any of it out, or whatever, but...it's on my mind anyway, I guess.”

“That's not silly,” Harry insisted. “And I'm glad you brought it up, actually. I did a lot of thinking last night, and I turned my phone back on.”

“Wow,” Louis said, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “I was starting to think you were going to just buy a new one and start over.”

“Thought about it,” Harry laughed. “But I called my sister and my mum, and I made the decision to take more time off. I'm going to take the next four months off, try and get some writing done while I'm here, and then see where I'm at.”

“Can you do that?” Louis asked curiously.

“They won't be pleased with me,” Harry admitted with a slight grimace. “But, yeah. In the end I can kind of do whatever I want. It's all about money to them, and keeping me happy means that I'll keep making them money in the future.”

“And if they refuse?”

“Then I walk,” Harry said simply, letting out a laugh as he shook his head ruefully. “It's so stupid, right? How simple the answer was all along? It was something I realized last night, and it just kind of hit me. I was talking to Gemma and I just realized that...I'm happy here, Lou. I'm _so_ happy, and...I dunno, I guess if I can be this happy here, in this tiny village, farming for a living, then I can be happy doing anything, you know? I love what I do, but I was miserable doing it, and if that won't change, then it's just not worth it anymore. Life's too short.”

“I'm immensely proud of you,” Louis said, looking at Harry with such intense fondness that it made Harry's heart swell.

“Thanks,” Harry said, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks as he grinned at the table.

“And for the record, I'm very happy that you're going to stick around for a little while longer,” Louis said with a teasing smile. “I'm sure you fit in London with all of your hipster friends and expensive clothes, but...you fit here too.”

“I fit with you,” Harry said simply. Louis leaned his head back and let out a belly laugh, making Harry grin at the sound.

“That is quite possibly the cheesiest thing anyone has ever said to me! Honestly, Harold.”

“You loved it,” Harry laughed.

“Maybe,” Louis conceded. “Now get cooking! Honestly, what kind of a boyfriend are you, leaving me here to starve?”

“I guess you'll find out,” Harry teased.

“I suppose I will.”

**XXX**  

When Harry called his management to let them know that he was taking a full six month hiatus, they requested a meeting with him straightaway, as expected.

Harry found the prospect of returning to London more unpleasant than he thought he would. He loved London, but he loved Louis and the girls more, and realized that he didn't even want to spend the night at his flat. It was only a three hour drive, and Harry reasoned that he could go, have the meeting, and get back hopefully in time for dinner without having to spend any time in London at all.

When he stopped by the Tomlinson house that morning, Louis was already out with the cows. He found Lottie sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal, flipping idly through a magazine.

“Hi Harry,” Lottie said, looking up briefly. “You're a bit late today, aren't you?”

“Yeah,” Harry shrugged, body restless and anxious to get on the road. “It's a long story, but I'm going to London. Will you tell Louis for me?”

“Um...he's probably just in the barn, you could go and talk to him?” Lottie tried.

“Nah, it would be much easier if you just let him know for me,” Harry said, mind already racing ahead to his meeting, mentally preparing for what would inevitably be a battle of wills.

“Um, Harry, I really think that you should talk to him,” Lottie said anxiously.

“Sorry Lots, but I'm really in a hurry, just let him know okay?”

“O...kay...” Lottie said, confusion in her voice.

“Thanks!” Harry called out, giving her a one armed hug as he was already on his way out the door.

Harry was so focused on his meeting that he didn't give a second thought to his unusually awkward encounter with Lottie. He had bigger things on his mind.

So, when Harry pulled up to the cottage that evening after a _long_ day to find a very distraught Louis sitting on his sofa, Harry was more than a little confused.

“Lou?” Harry asked, throwing his keys on the counter. “What are you doing here?”

Louis jumped up at the sound of his voice, spinning around with a look of surprise on his face.

“What am I—what are you—Lottie said that you left?” Louis said, stumbling over his words.

“I just had to go to London for a meeting,” Harry said slowly, concern lacing his words. “Did she not tell you that?”

“Harry!” Louis exclaimed, letting out a strangled laugh. “London is almost four hours away! You can't just pop in and out like it's down the road! When she said that you'd gone to London, we thought—I thought that you'd left.”

“Left?” Harry questioned, confused until it dawned on him that Louis thought that he'd _left_ , as in, for good. “Louis, no, I'd never...no!” Harry insisted, rushing over to wrap his arms around Louis, tucking him tightly against his chest. “I didn't leave,” Harry promised softly. “Just went for a meeting. I'm not leaving.”

Harry felt Louis start to shake in his arms, and suddenly he felt hot tears landing on his collarbone. Harry's heart broke as he hugged Louis closer, running his fingers through his hair in a soothing motion.

“I'm sorry,” Louis apologized, breathing heavily, trying to get control over himself.

“It's okay,” Harry promised.

“I just got so used to you being here,” Louis sniffled. “Then when I thought you'd gone, and you didn't even _say_ anything—”

“Shh,” Harry soothed, cutting Louis off. “I'm not leaving you,” Harry promised again. “Not now, not ever.”

“You can't know that,” Louis argued.

“I can,” Harry said defiantly, pulling back to look Louis straight in the eyes. And maybe it was the adrenaline rush from his meeting, or maybe it was the fact that his brain never really quite caught up to his mouth after a long day, but whatever it was, once Harry's eyes met Louis', he knew that he couldn't tell Louis anything other than the complete, honest truth. Knew that he didn't want to. “Lou, you are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so in love with you it makes me dizzy. I'm not going anywhere.”

“You—you're in love with me?” Louis breathed, a look of disbelief coming over his face.

“You can't honestly tell me you didn't already know that,” Harry chuckled softly.

“I didn't...” Louis said, still sounding shocked. “Are you sure?”

“Idiot,” Harry laughed, leaning down and pulling Louis in for a kiss. It was a kiss Harry could lose himself in, a kiss that made Harry feel like he was drowning in it, soft and slow and sweet. It was a kiss laced with love, with all the affection and admiration of a new relationship, and as they pulled apart, Harry thought that it was a kiss that he would remember for the rest of his life.

“I'm sorry,” Louis said after a moment, trying to shake away the dazed look from his face. “I think I just had a stroke.”

Harry giggled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, feathering kisses against his forehead.

“I love you too, you know,” Louis said softly, face pressed against Harry's shoulder.

Harry could feel his heart flutter with the admission, and took a moment to remind himself to breathe.

“Are _you_ sure?” Harry teased.

“Pretty certain, yeah,” Louis laughed, as if he almost couldn't believe it himself.

“Wow...” Harry breathed, letting the moment settle over him, simply letting himself _feel_ instead of running, or pushing, or hiding. “So this is what being in love feels like.”

“Have you never been in love before?” Louis asked, surprised.

“Never,” Harry said with a shrug. “It's not like I've had many opportunities to have relationships, you know? And I've always thought that there's so much shit, so much baggage, that goes along with dating me that I'd never do it unless I really, truly, loved the other person. And I just never met anyone who seemed right. Until you.”

“I can understand that,” Louis said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I've essentially been living in a self-imposed dating exile for the last two years. I got really good at being alone, only...then you showed up and it just...it made me realize how _lonely_ I was, you know? And I started to think that maybe—maybe I don't have to be alone anymore. So, when I thought you'd left— _”_

“Stop,” Harry said softly. “I didn't leave, I _wouldn't_ leave. Please tell me you know that.”

“I do,” Louis confirmed with a small sigh. “I just...let my mind jump to the worst conclusion. I still find it hard to believe that you'd really want to be with someone like me.”

“That's incredibly ironic given how often I've wondered why someone like you would ever want to be with someone like me. You're _everything_ , and I'm like, a barely functioning human being.”

“You're everything to me,” Louis countered softly, and it was so cheesy, so horrifically out of character for Louis that Harry had no choice but to believe that he was being completely honest in his delivery.

Harry grinned and pulled Louis in for another kiss. Unlike their previous kiss, this one turned heated immediately, all tongues and lips and teeth. Louis barely gave Harry time to breathe before he was straddling him on the sofa, one hand tangled in Harry's curls while the other had a firm grip on Harry's bicep.

Louis pulled away and continued to press kisses across Harry's face, up his jawline, and down his neck, where he stopped to suck a large bruise. Harry gasped as he felt the pressure on his neck, hands digging into Louis' thighs as he ground their hips together. Louis pulled off of his neck with a pop, taking a minute to admire his work.

“ _Mine,_ ” Louis whispered, one finger coming up to gently trace the mark.

“Yours,” Harry promised breathlessly, eyes wide, head swimming with _Louis_.

That was the thing about Louis—he made Harry so _crazy_. He was so intense and gentle all at once, and it made Harry want to absolutely lose himself in the older boy.

Louis brought a hand down between them, slowly palming Harry through his jeans. Harry moaned and tightened his hold on Louis' hips, crashing their mouths together for a heated kiss.

“ _Harry,_ ” Louis breathed, soft and reverent, like Harry was the most precious thing in the world.

Harry pulled back from where his mouth had latched onto Louis' neck, bringing a hand up to brush the fringe out of Louis' eyes, letting his fingers run down Louis' cheek. Louis' fingers continued running through Harry's hair as they sat there just _looking_ at each other.

Louis was absolutely beautiful. His eyes were shining, blue and clear, looking at Harry with such unmistakable love, so _softly_ , that it made Harry want to cry. As he sat there, half hard in his jeans with the _most perfect_ boy in the world on top of him, it hit him like a ton of bricks—this was real. Louis was real, and flawed, and beautiful, and perfect, and he _loved_ him, and _Louis loved him back_.

Louis was everything Harry never thought he could have. Everything Harry forced himself not to think about. He was funny, and supportive, and loving, and so, so gorgeous. He was a partner and father and brother and _everything_ that Harry had ever wanted and so much more.

“Hey,” Louis said softly, bringing Harry back to the real world. “Are you okay?” He asked, concerned.

Harry realized that his eyes had welled with unshed tears, and he took a shaky breath, trying to get a hold over his emotions.

“Yeah,” Harry whispered. “It just like...it really hit me how much I love you.”

“Haz,” Louis breathed, feathering kisses across Harry's face. “My beautiful, beautiful boy.”

“I wanna give you everything,” Harry said softly. “I want to be with you forever.”

As Harry said it, he knew that it was more than just a confession—it was a promise. It should be crazy, making promises like that so soon. He should be terrified, running as fast as he can from too much commitment too soon. He should be embarrassed, coming on so strong. The thing is, he had never meant anything more in his life. He had never said anything that felt _so right_.

From the way Louis kissed him, as though he wanted to take Harry apart piece by piece until he got a part of Harry's very soul between his lips, he had the feeling that Louis felt quite the same.

“Don't leave me,” Louis breathed once they pulled apart. The request was so soft that Harry almost missed it, but it was there. And Harry knew what a difficult thing that was for Louis to say—how uncomfortably vulnerable it made him.

“Never,” Harry promised before kissing Louis again in earnest.

Louis deepened the kiss, bringing his hand up to the back of Harry's neck, pulling him closer. It wasn't long before Louis was slowly grinding down onto Harry, not fast or hard enough for any real friction, but giving just enough pressure that it had Harry straining against his jeans.

Harry's hands wandered underneath Louis' shirt, savoring the feel of his smooth skin beneath Harry's fingers. Breaking the kiss, Harry lifted the shirt from Louis' head, tossing it on the floor before crashing their mouths back together.

Louis let out a strangled moan as Harry's hands found their way to his nipples, rubbing and flicking them gently, making Louis' hips stutter before grinding down hard against Harry's groin.

Harry broke the kiss to let out a hiss of his own, and Louis took the opportunity to rid Harry of his own shirt.

“So many tattoos,” Louis breathed, running his hand over the butterfly against Harry's stomach.

“Do—do you like them?” Harry asked, suddenly feeling oddly self-conscious. In the past, Harry never really cared much how attractive his partners found him as long as they found him attractive enough to get off with, but with Louis...Harry had never been with a person he wanted to impress _so much_ , and he thought it might actually devastate him if Louis was turned off by his tattoos.

“ _God,_ Harry, I wanna get my mouth on all of them, mark you up right beside them,” Louis breathed, dipping down to lick across one of the birds on his chest.

Harry whimpered, bringing a hand down to squeeze Louis' thigh, rutting up against him as Louis' mouth started exploring every corner of his chest.

Louis continued trailing down Harry's chest, sliding off of Harry's lap and onto the floor as he pressed kisses down Harry's chest, across his abs, nipping at the wings of the butterfly as he went. Louis' hands ran down Harry's thighs as he brought his mouth down to Harry's knee, pressing a hot kiss over the jeans that were still covering him. Louis started moving his mouth upward, and Harry could feel his warm breath over his jeans as Louis kissed his way up the inside of Harry's thigh, biting down when he reached the fleshiest part.

“ _Lou_ ,” Harry moaned, fighting to keep his hips still, letting Louis work at his own pace. Louis brought a hand up and popped the button on Harry's jeans, tugging them down along with Harry's boxer briefs. Harry lifted his hips to help Louis pull down his jeans, sighing in relief once his cock was free.

Louis tossed Harry's jeans aside before leaning back down, hot breath coming out in puffs against Harry's dick. Louis' mouth was close, _so close_ , and Harry's eyes widened in anticipation as Louis licked his lips, lingering just a breath away from getting his mouth on Harry's cock. And then, all of a sudden, Louis moved back down and was pressing kisses across Harry's knee. Harry groaned in protest as Louis smirked up at him from his position on the floor.

“Patience,” Louis teased, leaving wet kisses up and down Harry's thigh before moving over to his other leg and repeating his ministrations. Harry sucked in a breath, but closed his eyes without protest and let Louis continue, breathing heavily as Louis' mouth explored every part of Harry's body except where he _needed_.

“ _Lou,_ ” Harry moaned brokenly as Louis finally, _finally_ brought his mouth back to Harry's cock, licking a long stripe up the shaft.

And Louis giggled, he actually _giggled_ right there in the middle of a blowjob.

“Don't laugh at me,” Harry complained, the farthest away from angry that he'd ever been in his life.

“Not laughing at you,” Louis promised, kissing the tip of Harry's cock, letting his tongue run over the head. Any response Harry had was swallowed immediately as Louis continued, “God, Harry, you look so fucking beautiful like this. So gorgeous for me, aren't you? My beautiful, perfect boy.”

And Harry positively preened under the attention. Because for as many times as Harry had been called gorgeous or perfect, no one had _ever_ said it quite like Louis. Like it was a precious secret...like _Harry_ was precious.

“Yours,” Harry whispered, biting his lip as Louis swirled his tongue around the head of Harry's cock. “Always yours.”

Suddenly, as if that was what he'd been waiting for all along, Louis wrapped his mouth around Harry, bobbing his head as he took him down, down, down, before pulling off a bit to run his tongue up the underside of his cock.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Harry moaned, torn between wanting to close his eyes and savor the feel of Louis' mouth around his cock and wanting to never look away from the positively sinful sight of Louis' mouth stretched around him.

Louis mouth eagerly worked him, sucking and licking and teasing, bringing Harry closer and closer to the edge until Louis suddenly pulled off. He hooked his hands under Harry's knees, scooting Harry forward and repositioning him.

“Tell me if this isn't okay,” Louis said, and before Harry could blink Louis had thrown Harry's legs over his shoulders and buried his face in Harry's ass.

“Oh my _God,”_ Harry moaned, eyes widening at the sudden contact. He tried keeping his eyes open, but he couldn't fight it, letting his eyes flutter closed and his head fall back against the couch as his body gave into the sensation of Louis' kitten licks against his hole.

“God, Harry, I wish you could see yourself,” Louis said, pulling back to press kisses along the backs of Harry's thighs. “So pretty like this, God, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

“Yes,” Harry whimpered. “Yes, God, please fuck me. Want you so bad, Lou, never wanted anyone like this before.”

“Are you sure?” Louis asked. Under normal circumstances Harry would have thought it was sweet, but now, while he was absolutely _aching_ for it, he just wanted Louis to hurry up.

“Yes!” Harry exclaimed. “Please, Lou.”

“Okay,” Louis agreed. “Do you have lube?”

“Suitcaise, pocket, bedroom,” Harry panted.

“Condoms?” Louis asked, but Harry shook his head. There was not a person in the world who knew him better than Louis, who he had opened up to more or made himself more vulnerable to, and after all of that Harry couldn't bear the thought of any barriers between them.

“I—no, just want you,” Harry said.

“A—are you sure?” Louis asked, sounding flustered for the first time since Harry got home.

“Yes, don't need them, I'm clean,” Harry promised.

“Me too.”

“Good. Please, Louis. Want to feel you, want you to fill me up. Want you to fuck me so hard that I still feel it tomorrow, so that every time I move you know I'm yours,” Harry begged.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis breathed. “How are you so perfect?” he wondered aloud. “Be right back, babe, two seconds.”

It didn't take long before Louis was bursting back into the living room, lube in hand, dropping his jeans and boxers stepping out of them as he walked.

“Miss me?” Louis asked with a grin, kneeling down in front of Harry before letting his mouth get back to its previous activities, rubbing circles around his hole. Harry whimpered as Louis tongue moved with more focus, catching slightly on the rim.

Louis worked Harry into a frenzy with his tongue, licking and rubbing into all the right places, making Harry's eyes roll back into his head with pleasure.

Harry let out a low whine when Louis pulled away, but then his mouth was back on Harry's cock and a finger was pressing into him, and he wasn't sure how he didn't explode right then and there from the sensation. It had been _so long_ since someone else had touched him like that; his own fingers could never get it quite right in comparison. For his part, Louis seemed to need no guidance, moving his finger in and out of Harry slowly until he brushed up against the spot he was looking for, making Harry writhe against him, rutting into Louis' mouth helplessly. Louis gagged a bit, but worked through it, never taking his mouth from Harry's cock.

“ _God,_ ” Harry moaned.

“You like that?” Louis teased, pulling his mouth off of Harry with a wet pop.

All Harry could do was let out a breathy whine as Louis slipped in another finger, rubbing and stretching Harry as Harry arched his back, begging for more.

Louis worked his fingers into Harry, tongue continuing to lick and lave in all the right places, until Harry was _so close_ to the edge he could practically taste it, only it wasn't what he wanted, not quite. It took everything in him to get his mouth to form the words, “Lou, please, fuck me. Want to come from your cock.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Louis swore, “Fuck, gonna make you come so hard, babe. Want me to fill you up, make you feel good?”

“ _Please_ ,” Harry begged.

Louis didn't need to be asked again, pulling away from Harry for only a second before Harry felt the slick head of Louis' cock at his hole, slowly pressing in. Harry moved his head from where it was buried in the crook of his arm to lock eyes with Louis as he pushed in. Needing to do something with his hands, Harry reached a hand up and tangled it in his own hair as his eyes fluttered closed briefly, fighting to stay locked with Louis'.

Harry had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, laid out there in front of Louis, but with the way Louis was looking at him, he had also never felt more loved. It was intense, it was _so intense_ , the way their eyes met as Louis buried himself inside Harry. It was _so much_ , Harry _felt_ so much, that it was somehow too much and not enough all at once.

“God, I fucking love you, Harry. Love you so much,” Louis said, voice trembling, and that's what did it for Harry—there was no longer any reason to hold back as he just started _talking_ , completely free and uninhibited as Louis started with a slow rhythm, fucking Harry with long, deep thrusts.

“Oh, Jesus, Lou, love you. You're so fucking perfect,” Harry panted. “You're everything, never gonna leave you, gonna be here forever, fuck,”

“Never gonna let you leave,” Louis whispered, changing the angle slightly and hitting Harry's prostate dead on, making Harry arch his back with an audible gasp as his babbling became more and more nonsensical.

“Lou...Lou...” Harry moaned. “So fucking good, you're so good...shit, fuck me...yeah, right there...love you so much.”

Louis let go of Harry's thighs and leaned down to press their lips together in a heated kiss. When he pulled away, Louis moved down to suck a mark into Harry's collarbone, swatting Harry's hand away from where Harry had it tangled in his own hair, instead replacing it with one of his own. Louis grabbed his hair tightly, tugging on it, making Harry's back arch and his breathing stutter.

“You feel so good,” Louis breathed into Harry's skin. “You're so good, Harry, so good for me. So beautiful like this, I wish you could see yourself,” Louis continued. Harry's mouth fell open as Louis thrust into him hard, burying himself deep in Harry as Harry's body instinctively started grinding down onto Louis, fucking himself on his cock. “Could you come like this? Come just from my cock?” Louis asked.

“Y—yes,” Harry stuttered. He was close, had been _so close_ for so long, desperately trying to stave off his release to make it last as long as possible.

“God, you're so perfect. So gorgeous, Harry, all for me,” Louis whispered. “I'm the only one who gets to see you like this.”

“Only you,” Harry agreed immediately, and nothing could be more true. Harry had fucked, had sex with, screwed, a decent number of people in his time, but it was _never_ like this. Never even close. It had never been so intense with anyone else, had never _meant so much_. In that moment, all he wanted to do was please Louis, to give Louis all of himself, every last part, even the parts that he didn't quite know how to give. He wanted Louis to have everything, because Louis _was_ everything.

Louis kissed him one last time before shoving Harry's knees against his chest, fucking him in earnest, building up a frantic pace, pounding into his prostate relentlessly.

“Come for me,” Louis panted, “want to see you, come on.”

Harry didn't need to be told twice, eyes fluttering closed as his cock started to twitch, spurting hot white streams of come all over his stomach. Louis kept thrusting into him, making Harry come so hard that his entire body shook with the effort of it. Before Harry had even had a chance to come down from his high, Louis was spilling into him, arms shaking from the strain of holding himself up through it.

Once Louis stopped shuddering, Harry grabbed him and pressed him to his chest, wrapping his arms around Louis tightly as Louis collapsed against him. They lay together like that for a couple of minutes, their heavy breathing the only sounds echoing through the room. Harry brought a hand up to stroke through Louis' hair aimlessly as Louis took time to get his breathing back under control.

Harry could feel Louis softening inside of him, wincing as he slowly pulled out. Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's chest before repositioning himself on top of Harry, burying his face in Harry's neck, throwing an arm across his chest. Harry clutched Louis tightly, feeling his come slowly start to drip out of him, and waited for the familiar feeling of emptiness to wash over him, only it never came. Louis' weight was solid and real on top of him, and Harry could still hear Louis in his head saying, _'I fucking love you Harry, love you so much,'_ and Harry realized that somehow he had never before felt quite so _full_.

“Love you,” Harry whispered into Louis' hair, enjoying the feel of the words on his tongue now that it was out in the open.

Louis lifted his head slightly to press a soft kiss to Harry's lips, reaching a hand up to brush a strand of hair away from Harry's eyes as he sighed, “my beautiful boy.”

In that moment, Harry was pretty certain that he was never meant to be anywhere else other than right by Louis' side.

“Come on,” Louis said after a moment, patting Harry's arm in an attempt to rouse him. “We have to clean up, we've probably ruined the sofa as it is.”

“Don't wanna,” Harry mumbled. “Sleep time.”

“No sleep time,” Louis laughed. “Come on, shower time.”

Harry's eyes opened with interest at that. Louis grinned down at him, and Harry couldn't help but giggle in return. He supposed that a shower with Louis was something that he could force himself to do. If he had to.

After an extra long shower that ended with two more orgasms and the need for _another_ shower, Harry and Louis were finally dried off and back in their clothes, curled up together in Harry's bed.

“You never said how your meeting went,” Louis said, lazily stroking a hand up and down Harry's arm.

“It was good, surprisingly,” Harry said. “They weren't thrilled, obviously, but for now they're giving me the break...and letting me come out.”

Louis' hand stilled and he twisted around quickly, a shocked expression written all over his face.

“What? Really? Harry! That's—you didn't tell me that you were trying to bargain with them over that!”

“I didn't want to get your hopes up,” Harry admitted. “Out of everything we negotiated today, that was the one I was least confident that they'd go for.”

“Babe,” Louis said proudly, smiling down at Harry as he reached up a hand to stroke his cheek and pressed a soft, happy kiss to his lips.

“The more I thought about it, the angrier I got, you know? I hated having to hide, and when I thought of having to do that with _you_ , it just...it was impossible, not an option. I know I might be getting ahead of myself, but I just kept thinking about like, eventually someone will photograph me with you or the girls, and what on earth would they expect me to say in like, Tesco with Daisy? Oh, here's my platonic best friend's sister who I am absolutely not helping raise as my own. Impossible.”

“You really think that long-term about us?” Louis asked reverently.

“Sometimes,” Harry admitted. “Obviously anything could happen but...it's what I hope for, I guess. I don't do things halfway, Lou. If I'm in this, I'm _in_ it.”

“In it to win it,” Louis teased happily, smacking a kiss against Harry's cheek as Harry giggled and tried to squirm away.

“Is that weird?” Harry asked after a minute. “That I kind of think of the girls as my own sisters, as well?”

“No,” Louis said softly, bringing up a hand to brush the hair from Harry's eyes. “It's lovely.”

“I guess I just feel like if this is gonna work, we're gonna have to be a family, you know? They're your kids, basically, and I know that I can't have a relationship with you without having a relationship with them too.”

Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's lips, taking his time to work his lips slowly against Harry's. When he pulled back, he said, “Come back with me tonight.”

“What? Like, spend the night at your house? Is that okay?” Harry questioned.

“I'll be honest, I'm kind of just figuring things out as I go, but...it feels okay,” Louis said. “And the girls are becoming quite attached to you, you know. I don't think they'll mind seeing you in the morning. You already come over most days for breakfast anyway, so it's not much different, really.”

“Okay,” Harry said with a smile. “I'd really like that.”

When Harry and Louis made their way back to Louis' house, Daisy and Phoebe were already in their pajamas, and Lottie and Fizzy were lounging around in the living room on their phones.

“Glad to see the house is still standing,” Louis teased, walking through the door. “Everyone still in one piece, I assume? Any cuts? Bruises? Missing limbs?”

“Not today,” Fizzy responded sarcastically.

“Harry!” Phoebe exclaimed upon seeing Harry walk in through the door. She ran up and barreled into his side, wrapping her arms around him for a squeeze. “Lottie said you went to London.”

“Just for a meeting, Phoebe-bee,” Harry reassured her. “I was only gone for a few hours.”

“We didn't see you at _all_ today,” she chastised.

“Well you're seeing me now,” Harry said with a grin, his large hand squeezing her side until she burst out in laughter from the tickles, squirming to get away.

“How was your meeting?” Lottie asked.

“It was good,” Harry replied. “It went pretty much as expected. I hope you guys won't mind me sticking around for a bit longer, I'm taking a proper break. Four more months off.”

“Four more!” Fizzy exclaimed. “So you're staying here for _four_ _more_ months?”

As Harry stood there, looking at all four girls who had their eyes trained on him, eagerly awaiting his answer, he suddenly understood what Louis had meant that night they first kissed. These girls had lost two of the most important people in their lives, and Harry resolutely refused to be just one more person in the growing list of people who leave them.

“At least,” Harry said. “Turns out I'm pretty happy here. I'm hoping to stick around for a very long time.”

“What about when you go on tour?” Daisy asked.

“You're right, I will have to go away sometimes,” Harry admitted, struggling with how to best phrase his thoughts. “But, I'll always come back.”

“Why would you want to come back here?” Fizzy asked. “What if you want to move to like, Milan or Paris or somewhere more exciting?”

It was a test, Harry realized, heart overwhelmed with affection for them, for Louis, for their family.

“What is this, an interrogation?” Louis asked, trying to diffuse the situation and giving Harry an easy out. But, Harry didn't want the easy out, was the thing. He said he was in it, and he was, and he _should_ be held accountable to the girls. Harry didn't have much experience with relationships in general, and even _less_ experience with relationships with kids involved, but he wanted to do things right.

“It's okay, Lou,” Harry said, moving to sit down on the big arm chair next to the sofa. He took a deep breath, pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing, “I owe you all an apology. I never should have taken off the way I did this morning, and it wasn't fair of me to expect Lottie to relay the message, particularly since I gave her so few details to go from. I am sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, or make you think that I left for good, and I promise I won't do anything like that again.”

The girls didn't say anything, but they all looked at him and nodded, showing that they heard him and understood.

“It's been a long time since I've felt at home anywhere,” Harry explained. “I've been all over the world, but...I never really found a place where I felt like I could belong until I came here and met all of you. I don't know how else to explain it, but I feel like this has become my home, and as long as I can say that, I can promise you that there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be.”

“But you could live anywhere,” Fizzy pressed again, not understanding.

“I could,” Harry agreed. “But, a house is just that. Four walls, a roof, a floor. I could have a house anywhere, but I could only have a _home_ here.”

“What's the difference?” Daisy asked curiously.

“A house is just a house, but a home is with the people that you love, where your heart is. And my heart is here with all of you. You can have a house anywhere, but you need people you love to make it a home,” Harry explained gently.

The girls took a moment to let his words sink in, and Harry looked over to Lottie, who looked surprisingly choked up.

“Well, I'm glad you're not leaving,” Lottie said after a beat, clearing her throat before continuing. “We were just getting used to you.”

“Does this moment need a hug? I feel like it does,” Louis said, eyes glinting mischievously as he looked at Harry. Before Harry could even blink, Louis launched himself at Harry, knocking him out of the chair and onto the rug, smothering him with cuddles.

Daisy and Phoebe laughed in delight and jumped right in, attacking the two boys on the floor with a battle cry.

“Fizzy, help!” Daisy cried as Louis fought free and started tickling his sister. Fizzy rolled her eyes but couldn't quite bite back her smile as she jumped into the fray as well, making Harry let out a gruff “ _Oof”_ as Phoebe elbowed him in the ribs.

“Lottie!” Phoebe implored.

“I'm not getting on the floor, sorry,” Lottie said, her tone implying that at fourteen she was _far_ too old for such childish shenanigans.

“Aw, don't spoil the fun, get on the floor!” Louis cried.

“Not doing it,” Lottie sing-songed.

“Troops, attack!” Louis cried, scrambling over to where Lottie was sitting on the sofa and grabbing her foot, dragging her to the floor with them.

“Stop!” Lottie cried, kicking and trying to get away, but between her three sisters and Harry and Louis, she was powerless against the attack. They grabbed her and poked her and tickled her until she was laughing, breathless on the floor.

“Do you forfeit?” Louis asked, grabbing her knee, where she was was quite ticklish, making her laugh and squirm.

“Yes!” Lottie laughed, eyes watering as she kicked out her legs, trying to push her family off of her. They finally relented and she tried to calm her giggles, “Oh my God, you are all completely mental.”

“Shush, there is never not a good time for a nice family cuddle,” Louis teased.

“You might want to look up the definition of cuddle again, then,” Lottie snorted, but she didn't move from her position on the floor back to the sofa right away.

The hall clock struck nine, and Louis looked at Phoebe and Daisy with consideration. Nine was usually their bedtime, but it appeared as though Louis had other plans.

“It's been a pretty long day, hasn't it?” Louis asked them. They nodded in confirmation. “If you can promise to settle down, I'll let you stay up and we can all watch a movie. How does that sound?”

“Movie!” Daisy exclaimed, bouncing excitedly.

“Yes, please!” Phoebe echoed.

“Okay, but we have to settle down, alright?” Louis reminded them.

“Good advice, considering you're the one who started all of this in the first place,” Harry teased. Louis just laughed and made a face at him.

“Alright, everyone get comfy and let's pick something to watch,” Louis instructed.

Lottie and Fizzy went back to their positions on the sofa, Daisy grabbed her favorite oversized pillow and sprawled out on the floor in front of the television, and Harry scooted back up to reclaim his place in the large arm chair. Harry kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs out over the matching ottoman. Phoebe sidled up next to him, silently asking permission to join him. Harry's heart softened, and he moved over a bit so that she could squeeze in next to him on the chair. Louis had told him time and again that the girls liked him, had gotten attached, but Harry didn't really realize what that meant, not truly, until he saw the reactions on their faces after he returned from London. Phoebe was seeking comfort, reassurance that he was real, that he was there, that he wasn't leaving, and Harry was only too happy to give it to her. He wrapped an arm around her, taking a minute to fix her ponytail, running his hands through her hair affectionately as she cuddled into his side happily. 

The twins were at that age when they started to want more independence, becoming less affectionate and more dramatic, and Harry knew that they had precious little time left before they were as 'grown up' as Lottie and Fizzy, and wouldn't want to squeeze into an arm chair with him at all. When Harry looked up, Louis was staring straight at him with a soft smile on his face, almost as if he could read Harry's thoughts. Then again, knowing Louis, he was probably having very similar thoughts of his own.

About halfway through the movie, Harry noticed that Daisy was fast asleep on the floor, and it didn't take long before Phoebe followed her sister, falling asleep with her head on Harry's chest and her hand clutching the fabric of his shirt. Harry held her a little tighter, not daring to move until the movie was over.

When it had ended and it was time for bed, Louis scooped Daisy up off of the floor, only waking her for a moment before she lay her head on his shoulder and fell back asleep. Harry followed suit with Phoebe, picking her up with him as he stood up from the chair, and followed Louis into the girls' room. They put the girls to bed, tucking them in, and Louis gave them both a kiss on the forehead before they quietly exited the room and went back downstairs.

“Girls, off your phones and get to bed,” Louis said, seeing Lottie and Fizzy still sitting on the sofa where they left them. “Come on, it's eleven, time for bed.”

“One more text,” Lottie bargained, fingers tapping away at her phone.

“Welcome back to the real world,” Louis teased as both girls stood up and put their phones away. “I think they might have an addiction, what do you think, Harold?”

“It's bad,” Harry agreed gravely. “I know some very discreet rehab facilities that can help with this sort of thing.”

“Ha ha,” Lottie said, rolling her eyes.

“Bed,” Louis said again, grabbing her by the shoulder and marching her across the living room, shooing her up the stairs.

Fizzy looked at Harry and rolled her eyes at her siblings' antics. Harry had the feeling that he'd better get used to seeing a lot of eye rolling if he were to be living with four adolescent girls.

“I think I'll go to bed before Lou comes after me next,” Fizzy said wisely. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Harry said as Fizzy stepped forward to hug him. Out of all of the children, Fizzy was by far the least demonstrative, so Harry recognized her hug as special and rocked her back and forth a couple of times before pulling away. “I'll see you in the morning, okay? Any requests for breakfast?”

“Pancakes,” Fizzy said, after taking a moment to think about it. “Chocolate chip.”

“I'll see what I can do,” Harry promised with a laugh before bidding her goodnight, watching as she climbed the stairs while Louis walked back down them.

“The girls are all in their rooms, and hopefully in bed,” Louis announced, flopping down next to Harry on the sofa.

“I've never been here for the bedtime routine before,” Harry said, smiling fondly. “It's nice.”

“Thank you for implying that I am competent enough to have a bedtime routine,” Louis laughed. “But unfortunately it's different every night. Usually it's some variation of the twins complaining that they have to go to bed so much earlier than their sisters, begging for five more minutes as many times as they can, finally going to bed, and then an hour later Lottie and Fizzy locking themselves in their rooms with their phones and laptops thinking I don't know that they're still awake.”

“Sounds like a routine to me,” Harry laughed.

“Yeah, a routine headache!” Louis teased, before his face softened and he reached out to lace his fingers together with Harry's. “Thanks for being here, though. Things are good when you're here, you know?”

“Yeah,” Harry mused. “For me too.”

When he and Louis crawled into bed together later that night, Harry knew that he wouldn't be going back to the cottage any time soon.

**XXX**

It was another couple of days before Harry brought up a trip to Holmes Chapel. He wanted to go home and see his family, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted Louis and the girls to come with him.

“I was thinking about going to Holmes Chapel for a couple of days,” Harry mentioned casually, as he and Louis worked to hook up the cows to the milking machine. Across the barn, Liam and a few other farmhands were working to herd the cows in and out of the milking stalls.

“Oh yeah?” Louis responded. “That's great, Haz!”

“You know it's been like, an obscenely long time since I saw my family, and I was wondering if you and the girls could maybe come with me? Only if you want to,” Harry finished quickly.

“You want to bring me and my sisters to meet your parents?” Louis questioned, quirking his eyebrow at Harry as he considered it. “I'd love to meet your family, Hazza. The girls would love a trip too; if we have time maybe we can stop by Manchester and pick up some things for the school year,” Louis said, thinking out loud.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Harry agreed. “If you want my sister can take the girls shopping, probably. I dunno if the twins would care too much about it yet, but Lottie and Fiz would probably enjoy some girl time.”

“They absolutely would,” Louis agreed. “Thank you.”

“Does that mean you'll come?” Harry pressed.

“Well, the farm is fully staffed at the moment so as long as Liam is available to watch over things while we're gone, I don't see why not.”

Harry broke into a grin and abandoned the cow he was working with, moving over to press a sweet kiss to Louis' lips.

“You're the first person I've ever wanted to bring home, you know,” Harry confessed.

“Don't worry, parents love me,” Louis promised.

As it turned out, parents really _did_ love Louis. Harry was slightly nervous bringing an entire family home to meet his family, but Louis quickly and easily charmed Anne and Robin, making them laugh with his quick wit and gentle teasing, and fully winning them over with his obvious love for his sisters and for Harry.

Louis' sisters were thrilled to get out of their little village and take a short vacation. Granted, Holmes Chapel wasn't terribly far from where they lived, and it certainly wasn't any more interesting, but it was a change of scenery at least. Daisy and Phoebe were excited to see where Harry grew up and to learn more about him, and Lottie and Fizzy were excited for the promised trip to Manchester on the way back home.

The first night they were there, Robin had indulged the twins and let them have an extra bowl of ice cream after dinner, not yet immune to the Tomlinson eyes, and Harry and Louis had to practically wrangle them into their pajamas when it was time for bed.

It hadn't been five minutes after they sent the twins to bed before Harry heard Phoebe shout, “Harry, we need you!”

Exchanging wry looks with Louis and his mother, Harry stood up and jogged back up the stairs. Opening the door to the bedroom, Harry looked at the girls lying in the shared bed and quirked an eyebrow.

“I believe I've been summoned,” Harry joked, walking over to kneel down next to the bed. “What do you need?”

“Can we have a glass of water?” Daisy asked. Harry had to fight not to roll his eyes affectionately—he could see right through them.

“Sure, I'll get you some,” Harry replied easily.

“This was your room?” Phoebe asked, small hand reaching out and playing with the rings on Harry's fingers.

“Kind of,” Harry explained. “When I was growing up we lived in a different house, then when I started making more money I bought this house for my mum and Robin. I don't live with them anymore, but my mum still wanted me to have a room here, some place to come back to when I need to. Does that make sense?”

The girls nodded before Phoebe asked, “Is this your stuff, then? From when you were little?”

“Some of it,” Harry nodded, looking around the room before settling on a stuffed frog sitting on the bookshelf in the corner of the room. He walked over to grab it, running his thumb over the worn fur and handing it over to the girls. “This was my favorite stuffed animal when I was growing up.”

“It's a frog,” Daisy laughed.

“Frogs aren't cuddly,” Phoebe agreed.

“Shh!” Harry exclaimed, pretending to cover the frog's ears. “Don't let poor Prince hear you say that! He just so happens to be the best cuddler in the world. We had some very cuddly times together, me and Prince.”

The girls laughed at him, but still rearranged the toy so that it was lying in between them, snuggled up onto their pillows.

“Do you think you can go to sleep now?” Harry asked.

“Do the song?” Phoebe requested.

“You drive a hard bargain, Bee,” Harry mock-sighed, taking a second to pretend to think about it. “Alright then, but you have to start me off.”

“Golden slumbers,” Phoebe and Daisy sang softly.

“fill your eyes,” Harry continued, voice soft and quiet, so that it was a moment just for the three of them. “Smiles awake you when you rise. Sleep pretty darlings do not cry, and I will sing a lullaby,” Harry finished.

The song had become an almost nightly request from the twins, completely by accident. Harry was a singer by nature, always humming a tune here or there, or singing out particularly relevant lyrics when the time called for it. It just so happened that one night, a couple of nights after Harry had unofficially moved into the Tomlinson house, Phoebe and Daisy were dragging their feet about going to bed, and Harry turned to lead them gently upstairs, singing the song as they went. The smiles on their faces had been enough that Harry did it the next night, and the next, and the next, becoming a sort of nightly ritual for them.

Harry wasn't surprised that they requested the song in a new and unfamiliar place, and truth be told, Harry was secretly quite pleased that he could provide that comfort for them. He wasn't Louis; he could never be, and he didn't want to be. Louis' relationship with the girls was beautiful, and sacred, and irreplaceable, and Harry was still trying to forge his own relationship with each of the girls, to find his own place within their family.

“All good to sleep now?” Harry asked. The girls nodded in return. “Did you still want water?” More nods. “Okay, I'll be back in a minute.”

Harry trudged downstairs, past the family and into the kitchen.

“Water?” Louis guessed, calling out after him.

“Among other things,” Harry laughed. He filled up two small glasses before walking back upstairs and setting them down on the bedside table.

“Thank you,” Phoebe said sleepily.

“You're welcome,” Harry said easily, leaning down to kiss each of them on the forehead. “Sweet dreams. We'll just be downstairs if you need us, and your sisters are in the next room, okay?”

“Kay,” Daisy said with a yawn.

“Love you,” Phoebe mumbled, eyes already half-closed, and Harry's heart started beating in overtime. He was stunned for a minute before his voice came back to him.

“Love you too, both of you,” Harry said, and if his voice might have wavered just a little when he said it, he was blaming it on hay fever.

He walked out of the bedroom, pulling the door halfway shut behind him, just the way they liked it, stopping to pause at the top of the stairs. Louis had given him the most precious gift in the world. Louis had given Harry himself, which Harry was still amazed at and thankful for every day, but he had also given him his family, which...there were no words for that, really. There couldn't be, it was _everything_.

When Harry made his way back downstairs, Louis, Anne, and Robin were all sitting together in the living room chatting. Harry took a seat next to Louis on the sofa, and Louis' arm wrapped around him instinctively.

“What did they need?” Louis asked.

“The usual,” Harry drawled. “They're asleep now, though, or close to it.”

“Thanks, babe,” Louis said, squeezing Harry's side before letting out a small yawn. “Truth be told, I'm completely exhausted as well. Would you mind if I took a quick shower and then went to bed?”

“No, go ahead,” Harry said easily. “Do you need me to get a towel for you?”

“Nah, I can manage,” Louis said with a shake of his head before turning to Anne and Robin. “Thank you so much for letting us stay here.”

“Any time,” Anne said sincerely. “We're so happy to have you.”

“Thanks,” Louis said, with a small, pleased smile. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” They all echoed, and Harry grabbed Louis' hand as he was standing up, pressing a soft kiss to his palm.

“Love you,” Harry whispered.

Louis looked at him with that _smile_ , the smile that Harry knew was just for him, squeezing his hand and saying, “Love you too,” before turning around and disappearing upstairs. 

When Harry finally let his eyes wander back to his parents, he saw his mum staring at him with a beaming smile.

“What?” Harry laughed. “Stop looking at me like that, it's scary.”

“Darling,” Anne said, standing up and moving to sit next to him on the sofa, the smile never leaving her face. Her eyes welled up a bit as she said, “you're so happy.”

“I am,” Harry said honestly, contentedly. He let Anne pull him into an embrace, leaning his head against her shoulder as she cuddled him. He closed his eyes and let himself just enjoy the moment, feeling her motherly fingers carding through his hair as they'd done so many, many times before. He loved his mum, of course he did, but he also knew that he'd also taken her a bit for granted over the last year. Thinking about Louis and the girls, and the fact that they could never again feel their mother's fingers petting their hair felt like a punch to the gut. “I really, really love you, Mum,” Harry whispered, voice a little thicker than usual.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Anne sniffed. “I know you do, darling. I love you too. I will _always_ love you, no matter what you're doing or how far away you are.”

Harry let a tear fall from his eye and sniffed before saying honestly, “I don't ever want to be that far away from you again. I'm sorry I pushed you away.”

“It's okay,” Anne soothed, because Harry knew that there wasn't much else she could say. What had been done was done, but he was there now, surrounded by his family, _both_ families, and all he could think about was how thankful he was for them all.

Eventually, Harry and Anne pulled away from each other, wiping their eyes in unison and laughing about how silly they looked.

“So you and Louis seem pretty serious about each other,” Anne commented after a moment.

“We are,” Harry agreed. “Meeting him and he girls was like, the last thing I ever expected to happen when I left London, but...I dunno, from the moment I saw him we just...clicked, you know? It just kinda happened.”

“It's a big responsibility to be taking on,” Anne said wisely. “I know it may seem like on the surface you've just got this ready-made family, but it's not always going to be easy, raising someone else's children.”

“No, I know that,” Harry said honestly. “I don't expect it to be easy, but...I dunno how to explain it, really. It just feels right.”

“Personally, I like them,” Robin said, inserting himself into the conversation. “Louis seems like the perfect match for you, and his sisters love you. Speaking from experience, it's not always such a hardship raising someone else's children,” Robin teased with a wink.

“We _are_ pretty fantastic step-children,” Harry said with a dimpled grin.

“The best,” Robin agreed with a happy grin. “The important thing is just to make sure that you're fostering those individual relationships with each of the girls as well as Louis, and everything will work itself out, which it looks like you've already been doing. It's not always easy, no, but welcome to parenthood. No matter what side of the fence you stand on, it's never always easy.”

Harry just nodded. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, that they would all have their moments, and that there would be times when he genuinely felt like it was a real struggle, but...the thing was, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Louis, and his sisters, were more than worth it.

Meeting Louis, Harry had found a place he could call home. But, more than that, sitting there with his mum's arms around him and Robin smiling at him from across the room, meeting Louis _brought_ him home. Reflecting on it, Harry was pretty sure that he was the luckiest person on earth.

The rest of the visit with Harry's family seemed to fly by. Harry delighted in taking Louis and the girls around Holmes Chapel, leisurely strolling through it's streets. Like Louis' village, Holmes Chapel was a small place; it was where Harry grew up, and was one of the only places left in the world where he truly felt safe from prying eyes.

Gemma and Anne had been wonderful as well, taking time to dote on the girls and do things with them that Louis and Harry struggled with, like pedicures and helping them try out different hair styles. The third night they were there, Gemma declared it a girls night and all but kicked Harry, Louis, and Robin out of the house. The boys, for their part, did their best to stay out of the way, but towards the end of the night Louis' nails ended up painted a lovely shade of purple while Harry's hair was intricately braided, and Robin wound up sporting a daring shade of eyeshadow.

When they went to bed that night, Harry noticed that Louis was quieter than usual. He wasn't acting particularly upset, or angry, but Harry could tell that something was off.

“What's wrong, Lou?” Harry asked, when Louis had slid under the covers.

“Nothing,” Louis said softly. “I'm fine. Just tired, I think.”

Harry knew better, though, and tried to press just a little harder, “Are you sure there's nothing else?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, “don't worry about it.”

Harry frowned a bit, but didn't press the issue any further. He hoped that Louis would come to him if he really wanted to talk about whatever was going on in his head. Harry didn't have to wait long; just as he was on the verge of falling asleep, Louis' soft voice broke the silence.

“Your family is really lovely, Harry.”

“Thanks,” Harry said softly, unsure of what the correct response was supposed to be, or where Louis was going with that statement.

“It just makes me miss mine, is all,” Louis admitted in little more than a whisper.

Harry opened his mouth, but came up short of words and closed it again, instead opting to roll over and reach out for Louis, pulling him close and tucking him securely into his shoulder. It seemed to be the right decision, as Louis practically melted into the embrace, curling up like a child, making himself appear even smaller than he already was.

“I wish I could say something that could help,” Harry said after a while. His heart felt heavy with sadness for everything Louis had lost, for how drastically his life had changed in the blink of an eye.

“Babe,” Louis said, voice raw with honesty. “I don't think you understand how much you just being here helps.”

“I can do that,” Harry said, pressing a kiss into Louis' hair. “I'm right here.”

**XXX**

When they went to Manchester on their way back home, each of the girls had a long list of things they wanted to buy for the upcoming school year.

Harry was nervous as they entered the city. Louis was driving and put a hand on his knee to try to help calm him. Harry knew that there was no way he could move around a city like Manchester without being noticed, and since it had been a few months since he was last spotted in public, he wasn't too sure that he wouldn't draw a crowd. He and Louis had discussed it beforehand, as it was a potential safety issue for the girls, and they decided that they would try to get in as much as possible, try to act as normal as possible, and just see how it goes. Going into the situation knowing that their safety was the primary concern did put Harry's mind at ease a bit, but he knew that he would still feel horrible if the girls' shopping trip had to be cut short on his account.

And...it wasn't _just_ that Harry would be walking around the city with Louis and his sisters, it was that Harry would be walking around the city with his _boyfriend_ and his sisters that Harry thought might draw a crowd. One of the points of negotiation that Harry had won with his management company was regarding his sexuality. They had agreed to let him come out, as long as it could be carefully orchestrated by them. Harry had agreed to their terms on the condition that, if he were to be seen in public with Louis, he was not going to act as though they weren't dating. He agreed not to confirm or deny anything for the time being, but he was adamant that he was not going to refuse to hold his boyfriend's hand in public if he wanted to.

So...Manchester could turn out to be a complete and total disaster.

“We don't have to do this, you know,” Louis said gently, as if reading his thoughts.

“No, I want to,” Harry said truthfully. “Just nervous, I guess. I don't want the girls to get hurt. Or you.”

“We'll be fine,” Louis promised. “We're just going shopping. If we end up getting mobbed, we'll stay inside whatever store we're in and call the police to break it up, just like we talked about, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, giving Louis a small smile.

“Girls,” Louis said, voice a bit louder to get their attention. “Do you remember what we talked about yesterday? No wandering off, no talking to people you don't know, no wandering off, and did I mention no wandering off?”

“I think we get the message,” Lottie said with an eye roll.

“I know you'd rather be able to go off with Fizzy on your own, but this is serious,” Harry said apologetically. “It's for everyone's safety, both yours and ours. Hopefully nothing will happen that will warrant it, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I'd never forgive myself if any of you got hurt because a crowd had formed.”

Lottie appeared to soften a bit at Harry's words, posture relaxing a bit as she said, “I know. We won't go anywhere, I promise.”

“You'd better not, there's ice cream waiting for you if you're all good,” Louis teased.

“Ice cream!” Phoebe shouted excitedly.

“Lou, I'm pretty sure that bribe only works on Phoebe and Daisy,” Fizzy teased.

“Works on me,” Harry laughed.

Thankfully, they didn't get mobbed in Manchester, but Harry did get recognized quite a few times. The shopping trip took longer than expected because Harry stopped every time a fan asked for a picture, and although he felt a little guilty for holding everything up, Louis and the girls didn't seem to mind too much, and truth be told, Harry _had_ missed his job just a little.

No one asked who Louis and the girls were specifically, but Harry did walk down the street holding Louis' hand in his right hand and Phoebe's hand in his left hand, so he was pretty sure that people had gotten quite a few pictures of the little family outing.

Despite Louis' protests and pouts, Harry paid for everything during the trip. It made him happy to be able to do that for them, to give them something tangible when they had already given him so much. On some level, he thought that Louis probably understood, since he didn't put up too much of a fight when Harry put his foot down and insisted.

Lottie and Fizzy, to their credit, did not try to sneak off even once during the trip, and were delightfully surprised to find that Harry was actually a really fun person to shop with. He enjoyed fashion, and was able to walk around with them and help them pick out stylish items that would flatter them. Of course, it didn't hurt that his budget was pretty much unlimited, but the girls never tried to take advantage of that.

Harry marveled, not for the first time, at what a good job Louis had done with the girls...what a good job their _parents_ had done before him.

By the end of the very long day, the girls were exhausted, even with ice cream in their bellies.

“Why did we park so far away?” Lottie moaned as they were getting ready to leave the ice cream shop. “Harry, you're super rich and famous, can't you get a police escort to our car or something?”

“It doesn't work quite like that, sorry,” Harry laughed, slinging an arm around her shoulders affectionately, rocking her back and forth in an annoying attempt to get her to perk up. “It's only a couple of blocks, not that far.”

“It feels like forever,” Lottie moaned.

“Lou, piggyback!” Phoebe requested, tugging at her brother's arm. “I can't walk anymore, I'll _die_.”

“Well, that would be a tragedy. I suppose we can't very well just leave you here, now can we? Go ahead, hop on,” Louis acquiesced, bending down slightly so that she could hop on his back.

“Alright, we ready to go?” Harry asked, double checking that everyone had their bags and that everyone was present and accounted for.

“I'm sleeping the whole way home,” Fizzy declared dramatically, leading the way out of the store.

As they were walking back to the car, Harry's arm remained securely around Lottie, practically holding her up as she dragged her feet. Louis was walking next to him, Phoebe on his back, occasionally bumping shoulders with Harry as they moved. Phoebe was entertaining herself by nudging Harry every so often with her swinging leg, not too hard, but hard enough that it made the corners of Harry's mouth turn up into a smile every time it happened, making Phoebe giggle softly to herself as she watched Harry try not to react. Fizzy and Daisy were bravely leading the group, but even they looked more sluggish than usual.

“Harry!” a girl called from across the street. When he looked up, he saw her dart across traffic and his heart stopped.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked anxiously when she made it to the other sidewalk. “Please don't run into traffic again,” Harry said seriously, marveling not for the first time at the complete absurdity of fame, that someone would willingly _run_ _into traffic_ for the chance to get a picture with him.

“Nah, I'm alright,” the girl said with a shrug. She looked to be a little older than Lottie, 16 or 17 maybe, blonde hair cascading in waves down her back. “Just wanted to come over and say I think you're amazing.”

“Thank you,” Harry said sincerely. “I think _you're_ amazing.”

“Oh my god, I might actually cry,” the girl said, laughing self-consciously. “I'm sorry,” she apologized. “I don't mean to interrupt you, I just had to come and say hello.”

“It's alright,” Harry laughed. “Would you like a picture?”

“Only if your, um, family, doesn't mind, I really didn't mean to interrupt you,” she said again.

“No worries, love,” Louis said easily. “Give me your phone, I'll take a picture for you. Phoebe will help, right Phoebes?” Louis asked, jiggling her around on his back playfully.

“I'll take it,” Phoebe agreed with a giggle, taking the phone from the girl and holding it up so that Louis could see what was on the screen. “Harry, look normal!” Phoebe demanded when Harry made a surprised face at the camera.

“Look normal!” Harry laughed. “I do look normal, this is just my face. I can't do much about that, Bee,” Harry teased before whispering to the fan conspiratorially, “see what abuse I put up with?”

“Okay fine,” Phoebe huffed. “You can do one silly one, and then one smiling one.”

“You're a demanding photographer, aren't you?” Harry laughed, but did as he was asked while she took two pictures of him and the fan.

“Much better,” Phoebe declared triumphantly, handing the phone back to the girl.

“Thank you _so_ much,” the fan gushed.

“Not a problem at all, it was nice meeting you,” Harry said kindly.

“You too! Oh, and Harry?” she asked, looking slightly nervous and unsure before she powered through bravely, finishing her thought. “You look really, really happy.”

Harry flashed her a brilliant smile as he said, “Thank you! I am. I most definitely am.”

As they were walking away, Lottie tucked herself under Harry's arm again, squeezing his side affectionately.

“I've never seen you be Harry Styles before today,” she said thoughtfully. “You're very good at it.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, a small smile playing at his lips. “Thanks.”

“You know, though, you're very good at being just Harry too,” she said sincerely, before letting out a big yawn. “Do you think we'll get our pictures in the paper?”

“Maybe,” Harry laughed. “It depends on how slow the news is this week.”

“We probably will,” Lottie guessed. “I'm gonna frame all of the ones of you and Louis holding hands,” she teased.

“Blow one up and put it above the fireplace,” Harry joked.

“She was right, though,” Lottie said after a minute. “You do look happy.”

“Course I'm happy!” Harry exclaimed. “How could I ever be sad when I have all of you?”

Lottie grinned widely before ducking her head and squeezing him again. When she let go, she was laughing.

“I'm glad you feel that way, because I'm about five seconds away from making you carry me to the car,” Lottie said.

“You are _so_ dramatic!” Harry laughed. “The car is literally just around this corner, I think you'll survive.”

“Rude,” Lottie huffed, but she couldn't quite wipe the grin from her face as she said it.

“You know, Haz, I'm getting pretty tired too. I might make you piggyback me _and_ Phoebe,” Louis joked.

“Oh my God,” Harry laughed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “You are all completely insane.”

“Yeah, but you'd better get used to it,” Lottie teased. “You're one of us now.”

As they rounded the corner to his car, Harry realized that he was. He really, really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on Tumblr! andthensusays.tumblr.com


	4. Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this has taken forever! Real life got a little crazy. Thanks to all of you for being patient!!

Lottie's birthday started off quietly. Louis and Harry woke up extra early that morning so Harry could ice the cupcakes he had baked for her as a surprise late the night before. Louis walked down to the kitchen with the intention of helping, but by the fourth time Louis swiped his finger across an already iced cupcake, Harry decided that he'd had quite enough of his help for one day.

“Lou,” Harry laughed, swatting at Louis' hand. “Either eat the cupcake or leave it alone, please. It'll take me twice as long to finish this if I have to go back and re-ice every cupcake.”

“I'm just testing them for quality assurance,” Louis teased. “Can't be giving Lottie dodgy cupcakes on her birthday, now can we?”

“You're completely impossible,” Harry huffed, but he couldn't quite keep the grin from his face. “What do you guys usually do for birthdays?”

“I don't really know,” Louis sighed. “Last year was... _really_ hard. We kind of just ignored them all, if I'm being honest. But we can't pretend our birthdays don't exist for the rest of our lives, so I'm trying to make them happy again, you know?”

Harry fixed Louis with a terribly fond stare before turning back to the plate of cupcakes, working on arranging them tastefully.

“Well, there aren't many things happier than cupcakes for breakfast,” Harry teased.

“No,” Louis laughed. “I suppose there really aren't.”

When they went to wake up Lottie a few minutes later, the plate of cupcakes was lit up with candles. Harry carried it carefully into Lottie's room as Louis knelt down by the side of her bed.

“Happy birthday,” Louis said softly, reaching out a hand to tug playfully at the covers as Lottie slowly blinked open her eyes.

“Lou?” Lottie asked sleepily. “What's going on?”

“It's your birthday!” Louis laughed.

“Oh,” Lottie yawned. “It's still dark outside though, so I'm gonna go back to sleep.”

“Oh no you don't,” Harry teased. “It is your number one responsibility as the birthday girl to wake up and eat a cupcake.”

Lottie's eyes opened again at the word cupcake, and took in for the first time what Harry was holding.

“You baked me cupcakes?” Lottie asked. “For breakfast?”

“I helped!” Louis protested jokingly.

“Happy birthday,” Harry said, placing the plate of cupcakes in Lottie's lap and bending down to give her an affectionate kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you,” Lottie said, finally grinning and sitting up, surveying the cupcakes to see which one she wanted to try.

“So,” Louis said, plopping down on the bed next to her. “What do you want to do for your birthday?”

“Nothing, really,” Lottie said with a shrug, choosing a cupcake and taking a bite.

“You don't want to do anything at all?” Harry asked, surprised. He took a seat opposite Louis on the other side of her bed and nabbed a cupcake for himself. “What about having friends over?” Harry suggested. “We could plan a proper party for you this weekend.”

“I don't know,” Lottie said quietly. “Maybe.”

“Okay,” Louis said softly, and Harry took the cue not to push the matter any more. “It's your day, so we won't make you do anything you don't want to.”

“Don't do that,” Lottie groaned.

“Do what?” Louis asked.

“Make me feel bad for feeling bad!” Lottie cried, unable to keep a small grin off her face.

“I'm not trying to, I promise,” Louis laughed, eyes crinkling in a genuine smile.

“Right,” Lottie scoffed, swiping her finger in the icing on her cupcake before wiping it on Louis' cheek. He laughed and rubbed at his face, licking the icing from his hand. Lottie looked at her lap, staring at the cupcake she was holding for a minute before she spoke again, voice soft and sad. “Can I just miss them for a minute? Please?”

Louis opened his mouth to respond, but Harry could see him at a loss for words so he jumped in, “Of course,” Harry said sincerely. “You can miss them whenever you need to.”

Lottie nodded wordlessly before Louis seemed to find his voice again.

“I miss them too,” Louis said sadly. “Every day. It's hard on days like these—holidays, family days. It makes missing them just a little harder doesn't it?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Lottie said immediately, pressing her lips together in a firm line to stop them from trembling.

“That's okay too,” Louis said softly. “But I hope you know that if you ever _do_ want to talk about it, that you can always come to me.”

“I know,” Lottie whispered, lip trembling as a few tears slid down her cheeks.

“I didn't know your parents,” Harry said quietly. “But I know you. And I think you're an amazing, Lottie. And I know that some of that is thanks to what amazing parents you had, but a lot of it is also just because you're you. And I just can't help but think, if I'm this proud of you, and I've only known you for a few months now, then your parents must be over the moon proud of you.”

“You really think so?” Lottie sniffled.

“I know so,” Louis cut in. “Mum and Dad, wherever they're watching us from, I can guarantee you they are absolutely bursting with pride watching you grow up.”

“I wish they were here,” Lottie whispered.

“Me too,” Louis agreed softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Lottie's arm. “And it's not okay that they're not so I won't say that it is, but it is what it is. And Lottie, you've been so strong, and such an amazing support for your sisters, and for me, over the last couple of years. But, you're fifteen—it's not your job to be strong. I'm the adult, that's my job. It's your job to be fifteen, okay? I don't think I've done the best job of making sure that you know that you're still allowed to be a kid, but I'm still learning too. I'll do better in the future, I promise.”

“Lou,” Lottie cried, tears falling more quickly as she flung her arms around her older brother. “You're already the best brother I could ever have.”

“I love you so much,” Louis whispered, cradling his sister close. If a few tears made their way down his cheek, Harry wasn't going to point it out. After a few moments, Louis pulled back, fixing Lottie with a fond grin. “Now, I'm going to ask again. What would the brand new fifteen year old like to do for her birthday?”

“Well,” Lottie sniffed, drying her eyes with a small chuckle. “First I'm going to have another cupcake since you so rudely made me cry into the first one,” she teased. “Then, honestly, I think I'd just like to spend today with you guys. Just our family, yeah? But, I suppose I wouldn't mind having a party next weekend,” she finished sheepishly.

“Ha! I knew it,” Harry teased, nudging her knee affectionately.

“I think we can absolutely make that happen,” Louis agreed.

“I love you guys,” Lottie said, finishing off her second cupcake before sinking back down into the pillows. “Thank you for all of this. You didn't have to.”

“Of course we did,” Harry protested. “It's your birthday!”

“It is,” Lottie agreed. “And seeing as it's my birthday and I get to make the rules, the sun is just barely rising so I'm going to go back to sleep.”

“Fair enough,” Louis laughed, patting her twice on the leg before standing up and walking towards the door.

Harry got up as well, but Lottie stopped him quickly with a hand to the leg.

“Leave the cupcakes, Styles,” she warned, making Harry bark out a delighted laugh.

“Happy birthday,” He giggled, walking out to the hallway where Louis was waiting for him, shutting the door behind him as he left her room.

When the door shut, Harry reached out for Louis as the older man sagged in his arms, letting his head rest on Harry's shoulder tiredly. Harry didn't say anything, because he knew that there wasn't anything he _could_ say. Instead, he just rocked Louis back and forth slowly, strong arms holding Louis as tightly as possible.

It was a hard conversation, what they just had with Lottie. It was sad, and difficult, and Harry couldn't even imagine what it must feel like to wake up on your birthday and know that your parents are never ever going to be the ones waking you up again.

But, as harsh and cruel as it was, that was reality. That was life. Despite that, Harry was so incredibly proud of Lottie and Louis for fighting through it—for continuing to live, for not letting their grief overwhelm them. It was horrible and difficult, yes, but Harry knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they'd be fine.

Setting up for the party on Saturday turned out to be a bigger task than Harry had anticipated. Lottie had difficulty narrowing down her guest list—she was well-liked in school and had many friends, but she also knew that most of her classmates would give almost anything to meet Harry. She brought the list to Harry and Louis one night, brow furrowed and a look of concern over her face.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

“I have to invite my whole class to the party,” Lottie said, putting it out there.

“The entire class?” Louis asked, surprised.

“Yes,” Lottie confirmed. “It wouldn’t matter if it was just a regular birthday party but…honestly people would be really mad at me if I left them out because Harry will be there.”

“Seriously?” Louis laughed, eyes crinkling with amusement as he shared a glance with Harry. “You have to invite your entire class to your birthday because they all want to meet Harry?”

“That’s the idea,” Lottie confirmed, looking at her brother with puppy dog eyes. “I know it’s a lot of people, but seriously Lou, they will murder me if I leave someone out. And I’ve been so good at keeping people from bothering you so far, haven’t I Harry?”

“You have been very helpful in that department,” Harry agreed with a chuckle, before nudging Louis playfully. “Come on, Lou. She only turns fifteen once, right? We can’t have her become a social outcast at such a vulnerable age.”

“What he said,” Lottie agreed immediately. “Please, Lou?”

“I cannot believe you two are ganging up on me about this!” Louis laughed. “Alright, fine. We’ll set up some tables in the garden and have the party out there. Invite whoever you want, but keep in mind that we have to feed them all so try to keep it within reason, okay, love?”

“Thank you!” Lottie cried, hurdling herself at Louis for a tight hug. “You guys are the best! You will not regret this, I promise!”

“Famous last words,” Louis muttered as Lottie ran back upstairs happily. Harry snorted and rested his chin on Louis’ shoulder, arms slinking around Louis’ waist from behind.

“I don’t think it’ll be too bad,” Harry mused. “Besides, you won’t be the one on display here. They’ll all be there for Lottie and to gawk at me,” Harry teased.

“Please,” Louis scoffed sadly. “You’ve been here long enough, you know how things work around here. People were really angry, at first, when they learned I was taking the girls. Everyone thought that they should go to my grandparents up in Doncaster. No one thought I could do it. It’s been two years, and people aren’t as harsh about it anymore, but I am still _always_ on display,” Louis finished, unable to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

“Then all they’ll see is just how well you’re doing,” Harry insisted, dropping a kiss to Louis’ shoulder. “How happy and loved the girls are."

“They are,” Louis agreed with a small smile. “It's been a long road, but I think we're doing alright.”

“More than,” Harry promised.

**XXX**

On Friday, most of the day was spent preparing for the party. The house was buzzing with excitement—Lottie's birthday party was really the first social event the family had hosted in over two years. Louis was working hard getting the garden and barn ready for guests, and Lottie and Fizzy were tasked with cleaning the house. The twins were bursting with energy and quite frankly getting on Louis' last nerve so Harry decided he'd bring them shopping with him to stock up on food for the party, hoping to expel some of their energy.

Even walking around the grocery, the twins were loud and boisterous, talking a mile a minute.

“Jesus, are you sure you two didn't have coffee this morning?” Harry laughed, gently redirecting Daisy so she wouldn't walk straight into a display of soup.

“You're ridiculous,” Phoebe giggled.

“Yeah, we're just excited!” Daisy chimed in, tugging on Harry's hand and bouncing up and down.

“I can see that, you little monsters,” Harry teased, squeezing Daisy's hand affectionately. “Okay, we don't have all day, so let's focus, yeah?” Harry said, pulling a folded up list from his pocket.

“I want to read it!” Phoebe shouted, grabbing the list from Harry's hand.

“Take a breath, Bee,” Harry teased gently, “and be a little less grabby next time, okay?”

“Sorry,” Phoebe apologized. “The first thing says eggs. Are we going to bake Lottie a cake?”

“We are,” Harry confirmed, leading the girls towards the correct aisle. “Are you going to help me decorate it?”

“That's our favorite part!” Daisy exclaimed. “Mummy always used to let us eat the leftover icing.”

It wasn't much, Harry knew, but it brought a smile to his face each time he heard one of the girls talk about their parents outside of the context of grief. Grieving for their parents would be a lifelong process, of course it would, but Harry also hoped that they'd be able to remember their parents with fondness as well—to smile and laugh at the good memories without being overwhelmed by grief. It was something that would take time, but even just a few months ago Harry knew that the twins never would have mentioned their parents to anyone in conversation.

Any progress, no matter how small, Harry considered a victory.

“Well, if that's a Tomlinson tradition then I think we can keep it up. What do you think?” Harry asked.

“I will always say yes to icing!” Phoebe exclaimed.

“Phoebe! Daisy!” a girl's voice called, making the trio stop and turn around as another young girl who looked about their age came running up to them.

“Hi Hannah!” Daisy exclaimed.

“Have you gotten your school things yet?” Hannah asked, which immediately launched the girls into an animated story about their trip to Manchester.

“Hannah, there you are,” a woman, presumably Hannah's mother, said while walking over to the girls. “Daisy! Phoebe!” she exclaimed. “It's so lovely to see you girls, how has your summer been?”

“It's been the best summer ever!” Daisy exclaimed fiercely.

“Are you here with your brother?” the woman asked, looking around for Louis.

“We're here with our Harry,” Phoebe said, shaking her head.

“Oh?” the woman said with a confused smile, and Harry decided it was time to insert himself into the conversation.

“Hi,” Harry said, reaching out to shake her hand. “I'm Harry.”

“Catherine, lovely to meet you,” the woman said.

“Harry's our almost brother,” Daisy chimed in helpfully.

“Your almost brother?” Catherine questioned, eyebrow quirked in amusement.

“Yes, because he's mostly our brother but when he marries Louis then he'll be our actual brother,” Daisy said, matter-of-fact.

“Okay!” Harry chuckled nervously, tugging on Daisy's ponytail playfully.

“They have no filter at eight, do they?” Catherine laughed.

“I am learning that, it seems,” Harry said, lips curved up in a fond smile.

“So you're the Harry everyone's been going on about, aren't you? The famous one?” Catherine asked.

“That would probably be me,” Harry agreed, wincing slightly. “Hopefully people have been saying nice things.”

“They've been very complimentary,” Catherine reassured him. “People say that they've not seen Louis and the girls so happy in a long time.”

“Really? That's so kind,” Harry said, a dimpled grin getting the best of him. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Harry, can Hannah come to the party tomorrow?” Phoebe asked, turning the signature Tomlinson look on full force.

“It's Lottie's birthday party, Bee,” Harry said. “But, as long as Hannah doesn't mind a bunch of teenagers running around then she's welcome to come.”

“Can I, Mum?” Hannah asked excitedly.

“Well, as long as it's not too much of an imposition...” Catherine said carefully.

“Not at all,” Harry insisted. “We're getting enough food to feed a small army, I think. You're both more than welcome to drop by.”

“Well, in that case it's fine by me,” Catherine said with a smile, eliciting a cheer from the girls.

“You are my favorite brother,” Phoebe said, wrapping her arm's around Harry's waist in a tight hug.

“You are so full of it,” Harry laughed, rocking Phoebe back and forth.

“I know,” Phoebe grinned.

“Well, we won't keep you long. Come on, Hannah, you'll see the girls again tomorrow. It was so lovely to meet you, Harry.”

They all said their goodbyes, and Harry did his best to wrangle the girls around the store to pick up everything they needed.

When they left the store, Harry felt oddly like he'd passed some sort of test.

**XXX**

Lottie's party went off without a hitch. Harry turned on the charm and was kind and patient with not only Lottie's friends, but with her friends' curious parents as well. Niall, Zayn, and Liam came over to help make sure everything stayed under control, and once the initial excitement of meeting Harry had died down, Harry found himself having a genuinely good time.

When Harry walked to the cooler to get another drink he couldn't help but overhear Lottie talking to her friends about Harry.

“I don't know how you can even stand living with Harry!” One girl exclaimed. “He is _so_ fit!”

“That's disgusting!” Lottie exclaimed, making a face and pretending to gag.

“How can you not agree with me?” The girl asked incredulously.

“He's my brother! Ew, that's so gross,” she said, shuddering.

Harry couldn't quite wipe the mega-watt grin off of his face as he walked back over to Louis because, yeah, they really were a family.

When the party was over and the girls were all inside getting ready for bed, Louis made a bonfire that had Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn sitting around it, enjoying the peaceful quiet of the late summer night. Louis took a seat next to Harry with a small groan.

“Getting old, Tommo?” Niall joked.

“Apparently,” Louis laughed. “God, what a long day.”

“Yeah, but the girls had a blast, though,” Zayn pointed out with a smile.

“They did, didn’t they?” Louis asked, eyes crinkling as a happy grin spread across his face.

“They really did,” Harry agreed. “Daisy told me she wants every birthday party to be like this.”

“I, for one, would like to give a big round of applause to Mr. Harry Styles for cooking enough food to feed the entire village,” Niall said, clapping his hands.

“Yeah, are you sure you’re up to repeating that for every birthday, Haz?” Liam joked.

Harry giggled, and let out a tired breath, grimacing at the thought.

“Oh, he’ll do it,” Zayn teased. “Don’t even pretend like those girls don’t have you wrapped around their fingers.”

“You’re just jealous because they like me more,” Harry laughed.

“Except for Lottie,” Louis teased, waggling his eyebrows at Zayn. It was a well-known, and poorly-hidden fact that Lottie had the world’s biggest crush on Zayn. Every time he’d drop by the house the normally chatty girl would clam up and stumble over her words. In all fairness, Harry couldn’t really blame the poor girl. Zayn truly was beyond gorgeous.

As they all sat around the fire, laughing and teasing each other, Harry caught Louis’ eye. They shared a private smile before Harry tilted his head up to look at the myriad of stars, brighter than Harry could ever see in the city. As Harry took in a few deep breaths of crisp night air, all he could think about was how much things had changed in just a few short months.

When he first arrived at the village, the Tomlinson house had seemed so lonely, sad, and full of secrets. But now, after a huge party, sitting around a fire with some of the most wonderful friends he’d ever had, Harry realized that the house, the family, could not be surrounded by more love

**XXX**

Life continued on for Harry and the Tomlinson family. Harry and Louis spent the majority of every day wrapped up in one another, enjoying every bit of time they got together. They resolutely ignored the fact that Harry would be leaving in just a few short months, preferring to live in the moment. Harry found himself fitting in quite nicely with Louis and his sisters, able to give a hand when needed, and entertain the girls when Louis was ready to pull his hair out. He wasn't ashamed to say that he thought of the girls as _his_ sisters as well, feeling a warm love for their chaotic chatter and a fierce protectiveness over what little innocence they had left.

In all of the time Harry had spent with the girls, however, he had never truly had to act as a parent to them, not in the way Louis did. Louis handled the punishing, and the lecturing, and the shouting, which Harry assumed was only right seeing as he was their brother. Harry never jumped in, because he didn't want to step on any toes, fully aware that even though they had embraced him as an almost brother, as Daisy had so sweetly put it, he wasn't _actually_ their parent.

That is, until the day that Fizzy snapped.

Fizzy had been on edge for days, moody and sarcastic, and Louis had eventually given up trying to get her to talk to him, shrugging his shoulders and telling Harry that she'd snap out of it eventually. Harry watched her closely, concern shading his features as he noticed that with each passing day that she appeared more tense, more on edge, more tightly wound, and Harry could almost see the explosion before it happened.

“Fiz, would you please set the table for dinner?” Louis asked. Fizzy was sitting on the big, plush chair in the living room, scrolling through her phone with a frown on her face. “Fizzy, did you hear me?” Louis asked, once it was clear that she was not going to acknowledge him.

“I'd rather not, thanks,” Fizzy said, not even looking up to where Louis had walked into the room. Harry had been standing at the stove finishing up dinner, but he put the pot on simmer, raising his eyebrows as he anticipated the inevitable blowout that was to come.

“That wasn't actually a question, Felicite,” Louis said, and Harry could hear the barely restrained agitation in his voice.

“Why am I always the one doing everything!” Fizzy screamed, throwing her phone down and standing up angrily, squaring off with her older brother. “Ask Lottie to do it, or one of the twins. You never ask them to do _anything_!”

“That's not true, and you know it,” Louis said, patience wearing thin. “I asked you because it's your night, and your responsibility. Fizzy, what is going on with you?”

“God, _nothing_! Why can't you ever leave me alone?” Fizzy screamed. “You think you know everything, but you don't. You can't tell me what to do, you're not Dad!”

“Fiz...” Louis trailed off, a look of pure concern falling over his face. But she was on a roll and was not to be deterred.

“Just leave me alone, _Jesus!_   I'm so sick of you! It's not like you even get it anyway, _your_ dad is still alive.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Harry was certain that she regretted them. It was one of the worst, most hurtful things she could have said, and her words hit their mark as Louis' face crumpled until his walls came up, completely shutting his emotions off from the world. Louis didn't say anything as he turned and walked away, continuing through the kitchen and out the back door.

The second they heard the door slam, Fizzy burst into tears.

Harry stood there silently for a moment, before walking over to Fizzy and putting his arms around her. She didn't even fight him, just collapsed against him, body limp.

“Fizzy,” Harry whispered sadly, doing his best to help calm her down. “What on earth was that?”

“He hates me,” Fizzy sobbed. “He's never going to talk to me again, he's going to send me away!”

“Who, Louis?” Harry asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. “You know better than that.”

“He's going to hate me now,” Fizzy sniffled, taking deep breaths to try and stop crying as Harry rubbed comforting circles on her back.

“He's your brother. He loves you too much to ever hate you.”

Fizzy just sniffled miserably in response. Harry comforted her in silence for a few minutes, letting her pull herself together. When it looked like she was finished crying, Harry asked, “can you tell me what that was all about?”

Fizzy just shrugged and looked at the floor.

“I'm sure I don't have to tell you how hurtful you were.”

“I know,” Fizzy said softly.

“I'm also pretty sure that you didn't really mean what you said.”

Fizzy just shook her head sadly.

“You need to apologize to him when he gets back,” Harry said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Fizzy nodded her head, but didn't say a word.

“Fiz,” Harry sighed, knowing what he should do but unsure of how to go about it, unsure of where the line between 'Louis' boyfriend' and 'co-parent' lie. “You know what I love about your family? I love that you've all been through so much, but have come out of it as a strong family. You chose each other, you _chose_ to keep this house a home, and I really love that about you. Because at the end of the day, home isn't about where you live, or what kind of house you live in, home is about the people you live with. Home is with the people you love. That's the thing about family, isn't it? You can be horrible to each other and say things you don't mean, and shout and argue, but in the end you'll always choose each other, because you love each other, right?”

Fizzy nodded her head slowly, eyes still downcast.

“I know that I'm not family, not officially. If we were in a television show I'd be like that weird friend who lives in the basement and never leaves,” Harry smiled as he got a laugh out of Fizzy at that. “But I love your brother, and I love all of you, so sometimes I might overstep my bounds a bit, _because_ I love you. Like now, for instance. I know that you didn't mean what you said, but just because you didn't mean it, doesn't get you off the hook. It can be hard to watch what we say when we're angry, but you have to try. You can't use your anger as an excuse for being hurtful, okay?”

“I know,” Fizzy whispered.

“I want you to apologize to your brother when he gets back, okay? But first you should go to your room, calm down, and think about what you said. I'll bring you dinner in a little while.”

“Okay,” Fizzy nodded.

“And I know you're upset, but it really might help if you talk about it with Lou or with me, yeah? It makes us sad to see you so upset, and we'd like to help if we can.”

“Maybe, if he's not too mad, I can talk to both of you together?” Fizzy suggested, a quiet hopefulness in her voice.

“Absolutely,” Harry promised.

Fizzy turned to walk away, but stopped after a couple of steps, turning back towards Harry.

“Harry? You're wrong, though. You are family.” Fizzy didn't wait for an answer before turning and scurrying up the stairs.

Harry stood in the living room with a bemused smile on his face, feeling a strong sense of pride that he'd just successfully navigated his first adventure into parenting. He wasn't sure there needed to be lines at all. He was Louis' boyfriend, yes, but the relationship also couldn't go far unless Harry also had a role within the family, _as_ a co-parent. He found that he wasn't averse to the idea at all.

Louis came back right as Harry, Lottie, Daisy, and Phoebe were sitting down to eat. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes looked irritated, and Harry's heart broke a little bit, knowing that he must have been crying.

“Smells good,” Louis said cheerfully.

“Harry can't ever leave, we'd starve without him,” Lottie said honestly, bringing a chuckle from the rest of the group.

Louis moved to give Harry a quick kiss, tilting his head to whisper in Harry's ear, “Where's Fiz?”

“I sent her to her room,” Harry said quietly. “Kept a plate warm for her, told her I'd bring it up to her later.”

“Thanks,” Louis said, eyes displaying genuine gratitude, and Harry smiled, knowing that he'd made the right choice in punishing her.

“I'll go talk to her after dinner,” Louis said, pulling out his chair and tucking in to dinner. He didn't eat much, Harry noticed, but he made an effort for the rest of the girls, and Harry's heart swelled with love for his boy.

Dinner was more subdued that usual, and Harry had a feeling that the rest of the girls had heard the fight between Fizzy and Louis and were trying to stay out of it. Everyone ate quickly, and Lottie actually offered to clean up for once, rubbing her hand on Louis' shoulder as she reached around him to clear his plate.

“Thanks, love,” Louis said, reaching out and tickling her side, making her giggle and squirm away.

“You want me to go with you?” Harry offered. “She said that she wants to talk to both of us later on.”

“Thanks, but I'm okay,” Louis said honestly. “I'll go have a chat with her and then bring you up when she's ready.”

“Okay,” Harry agreed, walking over and pulling Louis into a soft kiss. “You know she didn't mean it, right?”

“I know,” Louis agreed, giving a sad smile. “It's okay, really.”

Harry grabbed the plate of food he had been saving for Fizzy and walked with Louis out of the kitchen and to the bottom of the stairs.

“She was devastated after you left,” Harry said. “I've never seen her like that. I think she even surprised herself with what came out of her mouth. We talked and I told her that anger isn't an excuse for being hurtful, just so like, you're on the same page. Was that okay?”

Louis smiled and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, burying his face in his neck and inhaling deeply.

“What would I do without you?” Louis wondered softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's collarbone. “Thank you,” Louis said, pulling back. “You didn't have to, but thank you for doing it.”

“I wanted to,” Harry said honestly. “I know it might be a little soon, but like, I think of them as my kids too, you know?”

Louis looked at Harry wordlessly, raw emotion swirling behind his eyes.

“I love you,” Louis said softly. “I don't—God, I'm sorry I don't say it enough. I think it all the time, every day. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Harry said, grin practically splitting his face in two. “You're it for me, Lou. You and the girls...I'm in this forever.”

“Even after today? You're not scared away?” Louis teased, but the smile on his face belied how pleased he really was. “The prospect of raising four girls should be terrifying.”

“Oh, it is,” Harry laughed. “Objectively, at least. But... _these_ four girls, I kind of love. And that makes it more exciting than terrifying.”

“Where did you even come from?” Louis asked, looking at Harry with complete adoration.

“I don't know,” Harry said with a soft laugh. “But this is where I found myself. Now go on, you know she's been listening at her door this whole time. Let me know if you want me to come up in a bit.”

“Okay,” Louis said, pressing a quick kiss to Harry's lips before taking the plate of food and walking upstairs, knocking on Fizzy's door before entering.

Harry did his best to busy himself while Louis and Fizzy were talking, sitting down with Daisy and Phoebe to play a quick game. It was about thirty minutes later when he heard Louis' voice call from the top of the stairs.

“Hazza, can you come here?”

“Just a minute!” Harry called back, making sure that the twins were situated by themselves before standing up and heading upstairs.

When he walked into Fizzy's room, he could see how red her eyes were from crying, and he shared a look with Louis, remembering all too well how difficult it could be to be almost 13. How important everything seemed.

“Are you two good now?” Harry asked.

“Course we are,” Louis said, giving Fizzy a pointed look.

“Did you guys talk about what you've been so upset over?” Harry inquired. Fizzy shook her head and bit her lip, bringing a pillow into her lap, tracing patterns into it. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It's silly,” Fizzy said self-consciously.

“Maybe it is, maybe it's not,” Harry shrugged, sitting down next to Louis at the foot of her bed. “A lot of the time things we get super upset about end up being silly in the end, but sometimes not. Do you know the worst thing I ever said to my mother was because she wouldn't let my friend sleep over?”

“Really?” Fizzy chuckled.

“It's true. I think I was just a little younger than you, maybe 11 or so, and my friend James had been at my house all day, and we were just being rowdy and obnoxious, and my mum had had about enough, so when I asked if he could spend the night, she said no. And I was 11, and thought I knew everything, and I was probably overly caffeinated, and I just exploded. I screamed at her, like got in her face, and said horrible things. I told her that she was a terrible mother and that it was no wonder that my dad left her. And even to this day I remember exactly how I felt when those words came out of my mouth. I felt horrible. I couldn't believe I'd actually said those things to her—they weren't true at all. And she looked so...shocked. I knew I'd hurt her, so I grabbed James and ran away.”

“You ran away?” Fizzy asked incredulously. “Wouldn't that just make things worse?”

“I never claimed to be intelligent,” Harry laughed. “All I could think was that my mum probably hated me, and was probably gonna send me to go live with my dad, so I just ran. Of course, I was 11 and living in the middle of nowhere, so I got as far as James' house before his mum offered me a snack and my mum came to pick me up. The point is, that we all do shitty things sometimes, and most of the time they don't make sense, but that's a part of growing up, and being human. Growing up doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to.”

“Well...I suppose this is less silly than a sleepover,” Fizzy conceded.

“Thank God for that,” Louis teased, nudging her knee with the back of his hand.

“I got an email from school a couple of days ago,” Fizzy said. “You probably got one too, Lou, but you never check your email, so I'm sure you don't know.”

“Are you in trouble?” Louis asked, surprised. “I can't believe you'd be in trouble already, the school year doesn't even start for another week.”

“No, nothing like that,” Fizzy sighed. “There's this new, welcome-back dance the first week of school. It's stupid. Lottie said it was stupid, she just deleted it straightaway and told me to forget about it. But, all of my friends are going to go and I'm just really angry about it.”

“You're losing me, Fiz, I don't understand. Why can't you go if you want to?” Louis asked, confused.

“Because!” Fizzy cried miserably, sighing and hugging her pillow tighter, staring at her knees. “It's a father-daughter dance.”

Oh. _Oh_. Harry's heart broke for the girls. All of a sudden Fizzy's behavior made so much sense. She was hurt, and angry, and frustrated. Of course she was. All a 12 (almost 13) year old girl wanted was to be included, and this was an event that excluded her specifically while simultaneously serving as a singular reminder of her loss. Harry couldn't imagine how much that must hurt.

“Fiz,” Louis whispered softly, moving up and taking his younger sister into his arms, settling in for a long cuddle. “I'll go with you if you want to go,” Louis offered. “I know it's not the same, not at all, but if you didn't want to feel left out...”

“Really?” Fizzy asked, voice small and fragile. “Lottie said there's no way you'd want to go.”

“Lottie says a lot of things,” Louis said dryly, earning a small chuckle out of his sister. “If it's important to you, of course I want to go.”

“Really?” Fizzy asked again.

“Really really,” Louis promised.

“Lottie said the dance is for little kids, but all of my friends are going, and I _really_ want to go,” Fizzy admitted.

“Then we'll go,” Louis said simply. “Fair warning, though, I'm a terrible dancer.”

“I don't care,” Fizzy laughed, leaning over to hug her brother tightly.

“This will teach you to listen to Lottie, honestly,” Louis teased gently.

“Well, you have to admit it's not really your thing,” Fizzy reasoned.

“Well,” Louis laughed, unable to refute her statement. “Dancing is not really my thing, no. But, you and the girls are absolutely my thing. So, if this is your thing, then it's my thing too."

“It's kind of weird,” Fizzy said slowly, taking a minute to get her thoughts together. “You're our brother, but...you're kind of more than that too. And I know that we don't always make it easy on you, but I love you a lot.”

“I know,” Louis said softly, dropping a kiss to Fizzy's forehead. “I love you very much.”

“Harry?” Fizzy asked, suddenly, startling Harry out of the fond look that he had focused on the two.

“Yeah, Fiz?”

“You're not going to leave, are you? Only, you said that stuff earlier, about how we all chose each other and I was thinking...I'm really glad you chose us, you know. Really glad. You make Louis really happy, and he deserves to be happy, and things are just...better, with you here. So I was thinking that maybe you should, you know, stay.”

Harry's heart caught in his throat at her words. She was looking at him, nervous and vulnerable, and Harry was actually speechless for a moment. As much as he loved this family, as at home as he felt with them, they apparently felt the same way about him. It was something that he and Louis hadn't discussed, not really, not seriously, but Harry knew his answer as certainly as he knew his own name.

“No,” Harry said softly. “I'm not leaving.”

“What about for work?” Fizzy asked.

“Any time I have to leave for work, it will only be temporary,” Harry promised. “This is my home now.”

“You're sure?” Fizzy questioned hopefully.

“One hundred percent,” Harry promised.

Fizzy moved from where she was sitting with Louis' arm around her, and wrapped her arms around Harry's neck, squeezing him tightly.

“You're kind of my brother now, too,” she admitted softly.

“I couldn't ask for better little sisters,” Harry said honestly.

Later that night, when Harry and Louis climbed into bed together, weary and tired and worn, Louis cuddled up close to Harry and whispered one word, “Stay?”

Harry did.

**XXX**

It was a few weeks after school had started when Harry got the call. He was face-first in a cow's udder unhooking the milking machine when his phone started ringing in his coveralls.

“Go ahead, mate, I've got it,” Liam said, reaching down to take over.

Fishing his phone from his pocket, Harry saw that it was his publicist.

“Hello?” he answered apprehensively.

“Harry, hi!” His publicist said brightly. “How's the break going?”

“It's really good,” Harry said honestly. “I'm feeling better than I have in ages.”

“That's so good to hear! So, I don't know how up-to-date you've been keeping with things out there, but your little outing in Manchester a few weeks has created a publicity storm, and it doesn't look like it's going to calm down any time soon so we need to talk about your coming out sooner rather than later.”

“Now?” Harry asked, surprised. “I still have a little over a month before I have to go back to work,” Harry reminded her.

“I know, I'm sorry,” she said, sounding genuinely remorseful. “It's just that your trip started a lot of people talking, and the more our camp stays silent about it, the more it looks like there's something you're trying to hide. If you're coming out, we want it to be highly controlled under our terms, not because it looks like you've been forced out by the press.”

“No, I...that makes sense,” Harry sighed. “Does this mean I have to come back to London?”

“Only for a few days,” she said quickly. “We'll talk strategy, you'll do a chat show, make an appearance or two, then you can head home for the rest of your break.”

“Listen, I don't like...I don't want to make a big deal about coming out,” Harry said. “It would be one thing if it was just me, but I've got Lou and the girls to worry about too. I don't want them thrown into the middle of all of this.”

“I understand,” his publicist said. “But you can't just say something over twitter, surely you realize that.”

“No, I know,” Harry sighed. “Just, whatever I have to do, make sure that they're protected.”

“Okay,” she agreed.

**XXX**

Harry tried to put off going back to London for as long as he could, creating strategies over conference calls. It was decided that Harry would drum up interest on twitter before coming back to London for a few meetings and an appearance on a late night show where he would officially come out.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Harry asked nervously, fingers hovering hesitantly over the tweet button.

“Of course,” Louis said. “It’s kind of weird, yeah, but like, I understand why people would be interested in who you’re dating. Besides, if you weren't famous I wouldn't think twice about posting a picture of us on twitter, so why should it matter just because you are?”

“I just feel bad,” Harry sighed. “This is so far outside the bounds of what a normal relationship has to go through. But at the same time I don’t feel bad because I kind of can’t wait to tell the whole world that I’m in love with you.”

“Then don’t,” Louis said, a happy grin overtaking his face. “This is a bit unusual, sure, but so is the fact that I have four kids. Our relationship has never been totally normal.”

“No, I suppose you’re right,” Harry laughed, he took a deep breath and pressed tweet. The screen took a minute to refresh, but there it was. A picture of Louis grinning happily at the camera with Harry leaning over his right shoulder, kissing his cheek.

 **Harry Styles** _@Harry_Styles  
_ Boyfriend. instagram.com/p/qS0BsqDTdl/ 

They gave it a day to let the excitement build before addressing it further. Harry’s PR team had created a twitter account for Louis. He wouldn’t be expected to post much, but they said that it would help the process if he and Harry were able to interact publicly on twitter. Louis hadn’t liked the idea much at first, but after Harry pointed out that Lottie already had a twitter, and both she and Fizzy had Instagram accounts, he figured that it couldn’t hurt to have one as well, just in case. The last thing in the world he would want was for his sisters to get involved publicly.

Their response to the public interest was precisely crafted. Louis tweeted first.

 **Louis Tomlinson** _@Louis_Tomlinson  
_ Okay, @Harry_Styles, you’ve convinced me to get a twitter. What’s this all about, then? 

Then, as discussed, Gemma and Anne were actually the ones to tweet next.

 **Gemma Styles** _@GemmaAnneStyles  
_ @Louis_Tomlinson about time! Welcome to the 21st century. 

 **Mama Twist** _@MrsAnneTwist  
_ @Louis_Tomlinson welcome to the party!

Only then did Harry finally give his reply.

 **Harry Styles** _@Harry_Styles  
_ @Louis_Tomlinson use it to tell me how much you miss me when I’m away :P 

Louis laughed and tapped out a reply.

 **Louis Tomlinson** _@Louis_Tomlinson  
_ @Harry_Styles in your dreams, curly.

When Louis woke up the next morning, he had over 300,000 followers and an incredibly large number of mentions. The world was dying to know what was happening, who Louis was to Harry—who Louis was period.

It was time for Harry to go back to London.

That morning at breakfast, Harry gently tried to broach the fact that he would have to leave for a couple of days.

“Girls, before you head off for school, I need to tell you that I have to go back to London for a few days. I won’t be gone long, but I’ll need you to take care of your brother for me while I’m gone,” Harry teased.

“So soon?” Lottie asked, surprised. “I thought you said you had a full six months off. You should still have another month, at least.”

“I do, more or less. Remember how I told you I’m coming out? That needs to happen while I’m still on break, so I just have to go for a few meetings and make one appearance to make sure everything is in order, and then I’m straight back here,” Harry promised. “I’ll be gone three days, tops. And you’ll even get to see me on telly, if you want to watch.”

“Course we’ll watch,” Lottie scoffed. “But you’d better say hi to us.”

“Deal,” Harry laughed. Looking around the table, he could see that Lottie and Fizzy weren’t thrilled with his announcement, but they were trying to understand and put on a happy face, and for that Harry was grateful. Daisy looked disappointed, but Phoebe looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“Bee,” Harry said softly, wanting to find the words to try and make it okay.

“You said you wouldn’t leave,” Phoebe said, voice low, and hurt, and angry. She pushed back her chair and got up from the table, stomping her way out the front door, presumably planning on walking to school by herself.

Louis got up to go after her, but Harry stopped him, “No, Lou, I’ll go.”

Harry walked out the front door and raced down the drive to catch up with Phoebe. When he reached her, she fixed him with a glare, but kept walking. He said nothing, walking next to her in silence. He wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say, really. His working in London was going to be an adjustment for all of them, and they each needed to deal with it in their own way.

They walked in silence all the way to school, stopping right outside of the gate. Kids called out to Harry, smiling and waving at him, by now used to his presence in the village. Harry smiled and waved back, but kept his attention focused on Phoebe. He knelt down, catching her eye.

“I’m sorry you’re mad at me,” Harry said honestly. “I wish I didn’t have to go either, but unfortunately sometimes we have to do things for our job that we’d rather not do. It’s part of being an adult, which is my job. Your job is to be a kid, and if that means being angry at me for a bit, that’s okay. But I need you to know that I love you, and I would never leave you, okay? I might have to go to London for work, but I’m not leaving, not for good.”

Phoebe stared at her shoes and pursed her lips tightly, a classic Tomlinson move, indicating she was trying not to cry.

“Mummy and Daddy _died_ driving to London,” Phoebe mumbled sadly, taking a deep, shuttering breath. Her words hit Harry like a ton of bricks, because _of course_. Harry had known how their parents died, Louis detailing it one night while they were cuddled in bed. Harry knew about the drive to London for their anniversary, about the lorry driver who fell asleep, about how it wasn’t at all their fault, about how they probably never even saw the truck coming.

“Phoebe,” Harry whispered, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I don’t want you to die too,” Phoebe sobbed, small body trembling as she clung to Harry’s neck.

“I won’t,” Harry promised, hugging her close. Looking around, he saw that more and more children were starting to arrive, and he didn’t want to embarrass Phoebe by having her classmates see her crying, so he picked her up and kept walking into town.

“Where are we going?” Phoebe sniffled. “I have to go to school.”

“School can wait for a few minutes,” Harry said kindly. “How about we go get some hot chocolate?”

Phoebe buried her face into Harry’s shoulder and shook her head.

“No?” Harry asked surprised. “I’ve never known you to turn down hot chocolate,” he teased gently, trying to bring a smile to her face.

“Don’t want hot chocolate,” Phoebe mumbled. “Just don’t want you to go.”

“I have to go, Bee,” Harry said gently, but firmly. “I live here, but I work in London. That means sometimes I’m gonna have to go to London.”

“Then get a new job,” Phoebe said petulantly.

“Is that really what you want?” Harry chuckled. “You love singing with me.”

“…No,” Phoebe admitted, voice small and sad.

Harry rounded the corner, out of sight from Phoebe’s schoolmates and bent down, placing her back on the ground, kneeling down so he was level with her.

“I know it’s scary to think of me driving to London,” Harry started. “But just because things are scary doesn’t mean that we don’t do them, right?”

“I don’t want you to die,” Phoebe said again.

“I won’t,” Harry promised. “I’ll drive extra extra carefully, and I’ll call you all the very second I get there, okay?”

“You really have to go?” Phoebe asked, sounding defeated.

“I do,” Harry nodded, reaching out a hand to pet her hair.

Phoebe bit her lip and nodded.

“It’s okay to be mad at me, or scared,” Harry said gently. “I promise you that everything will be okay.”

“When do you have to go?”

“Tomorrow,” Harry answered. “I’ll take you to school in the morning, and then leave after that.”

Phoebe nodded wordlessly.

“Will it make you feel better if I call the school when I get there?” Harry asked. “Talk to you for a couple of minutes to let you know I’m okay?”

Phoebe nodded again.

“Okay. I’ll do that, then,” Harry promised. “Now, are you alright to go to school or do you want hot chocolate first?”

“No, I’m okay,” Phoebe said bravely.

“I’ll see you after school, then,” Harry said, giving Phoebe a soft smile. He didn’t expect a smile back, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t receive one. But, to her credit, Phoebe dried her eyes and took a deep breath as she turned to walk back around the corner to school. Harry followed her, heart swelling with pride at what a strong, resilient girl she was. That they all were. “Have a good day,” Harry said softly, reaching out to smooth out the tangles in Phoebe’s hair. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Phoebe said, leaning in to give Harry one last hug before running over to meet her friends.

On his walk back home, Harry passed by the other girls walking to school.

“Is Phoebe okay?” Daisy asked immediately, concern for her sister evident on her face.

“She’s fine,” Harry promised. “A little sad, but we talked and everything will be okay. She’s waiting for you at school.”

“She probably gave Harry a good talking-to, don’t you think, Daisy?” Lottie teased. Harry shot her a grateful look when Daisy giggled.

The girls continued on to school, and Harry walked back home, collapsing into Louis’ arms when he walked through the front door.

“Parenting is hard,” Harry mumbled. Louis chuckled as he squeezed Harry tightly, burying a hand in his curls.

“Doesn't get much easier, I’m afraid.”

“She thinks I’m going to die driving to London,” Harry said, heart hurting just from forming the words. Louis’ hand stilled briefly before continuing to card through his hair.

Harry pulled back to look at Louis, who was looking up at him with sad eyes. Neither of them said a word, because there was absolutely nothing they could say to make that better, to make that fear go away. Instead, Harry pulled Louis in and kissed him hard. Because Louis and his sisters were _not_ broken anymore.

And Neither was Harry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr! andthensusays.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr, if you'd like! andthensusays.tumblr.com


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